


Staying away

by NyelhHawke, valeria1314151611



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Friendzoned Male Hawke, Secret pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyelhHawke/pseuds/NyelhHawke, https://archiveofourown.org/users/valeria1314151611/pseuds/valeria1314151611
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mahariel finds out she's pregnant with King Alistair's baby.<br/>She's scared of making troubles since it has been only a year since The Blight ended, so she choose to stay away from him and runs away to Kirkwall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I told you once you should’ve finished it, so you wouldn’t suffer later, yet you both fought against everything, you proved how love can survive even in most complicated situations, what is growing inside you, is only a proof of how much you two love each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I edited this chapter, the old one is in the link bellow. -Nyelh-  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6389749

She woke up earlier that day, sun was barely showing up, but she felt so full of energy it might had been a waste let the morning go by laying on a bed. Alistair was beside her, embracing her with his arms, his face buried in Mahariel’s brown hair, inhaling deeply. She squeezed in the sheets, turning towards him, he looked so handsome it hurt her heart just watching him sleep, seemingeven more fragile and naïve, waiting for someone to protect him, <<so cute>>immediately thought, reaching his ear─ Good morning─. She said slowly, rubbing his soft blonde hair, the one thing he loved the most after Erya, and cheeses, though she didn’t know which was the proper order, anyhow, she knew she was the first of all. He batted his eyelashes and hardened his embrace around her, mumbling something that seemed like a very harsh “not now Eamon”. She laughed.

─ **It’s me** ─ whispered in his right ear─, **you must wake up Alistair, it’s passed sunrise by now** **.**

He finally opened his eyes, looking at her. She could never guess the right color, sometimes they were of a deep light hazel, other times, if she stared at him from the right angle, she could see some green shades around them. He kissed the tip of her nose, making her blush deeply─ **Good morning** ─. He said, a smile spreading all across his lips.

─ **Morning** ─She smiled back, her sparkling blue eyes looking at him─, **your majesty** ─. His grin faded away with that simple word.

─ **No, forget it, I won’t wake up, I can stand Eamon calling me that, but you? No, I only hear my name probably once a day; did Eamon tell you to call me that?** ─. Mahariel laughed again, louder this time─. **Seriously;I won’t raise my kingly body of this bed unless I hear someone calling me…**

─ **Alistair** ─She reached him, kissing his lips softly.

It took a full minute to his bold smirk to disappear of his face─ **Now that’s a good start** ─. He made the kiss deeper, placing a hand over her warm cheek, rolling on the bed so she could be down him, it was going to be a long and pleasant morning.

Someone knocked the door and Alistair cursed under his breath─ **what is it now?!** ─. He said looking upset towards the chamber’s door.

─ **Your majesty?** ─ Eamon, Alistair let himself fall beside Mahariel’s body, giving up. He covered her with the blankets before he let the man get into the room─. **My lord….** ─Eamon saw Mahariel, trying to hide his unpleased look from the elf─. **We have an audience waiting for you;Antiva’s ambassador is here to speak with you** ─. He paused, looking to Erya once again **─.** **And Lady Mahariel** ─,If she didn’t know him better, she could say he was almost upset with her for being with Alistair.Eamon knew about them all the time, even when the blight and the civil war were destroying the country─. **You have some meetings with alienage’s elves.**

─ **I’ll be there Eamon** **.**

There was another moment of silence among the three of them.

─ **Uh, Eamon, if you don’t mind…Erya and I would like to get dressed** ─ Alistair managed to say.

─ **Oh!** ─Eamonlet go a fake cough─. **Sure, your majesty**.

Alistair and Erya didn’t say a word until the door was far closed─ **See? This is why I told you we should have escaped to Orlais when we had the chance.**

She laughed, rising from the bed with the sheets covering her naked body─ **Maker, Erya!** ─. Alistair exclaimed when Erya lost her balance and almost fell to the ground, gaining her stability back when she held herself to the bed ─, **are you okay?** ─ Before he knew, he stood up, and helped her to get up─. **I can ask Eamon to watch the audience and you and I can go to see Wynne.**

Erya’s blue eyes narrowed to the ground─ **you and I know he would skin you alive if you do that, you’re a king Alistair** ─ She looked back at him, smiling─. **I’ll go when I get done with the alienage.**

─*─

She didn’t want him to marry Anora, she was a controlling bitch.Anora had used her, used Howe; she even used her own father like if the throne was nothing more than some Orlesian game where she had all the moves under her sleeve. She would’ve killed Alistair, Erya knew it,felt it; the bitch was too smart to let someone who might take her toy away from her walking around alive knowing he could come back.Though Alistair couldn’t be less excited about the idea of being king, the choice was made by Mahariel, nonetheless. Erya chose him, and he chose her, by making her his personal consort. Everyone in the castle knew about them, the way they looked each other, the way he walked her around the gardens. Some servants felt happy for them, they even smiled when they passed by the halls. But there were others, like Eamon, who didn’t like the fact of her as king’s _mistress_ , like he used to say, he needed someone who could give him a _proper_ heir to the throne, and was well-known how grey wardens couldn’t have kids. Alistair didn’t care much about it either, and if he did, he never told her a word about it.

─*─

Erya looked herself in the mirror before leaving the room, she had changed, her hair had grown and her eyes looked bigger with the light pink make up her maid companions putted on her white pale skin. Eamon disagreed with Alistair in why should she have maids with her, she wasn’t the queen or some spoiled noble girl. Alistair shrugged, “curious thing, y’ know?Last time I looked, she was The Hero of Ferelden” he said in response, Eamon never mentioned the matter again, but even she knew how some humans couldn’t stand the fact of seeing an elf as their equal─ **My lady** ─. The human maid, Elianne, brought her back to herself.The young lady was making a small braid on her hair─. **There’s a letter for you** ─.Elianne said with her deep orlesian accent, reaching her the paper, Erya recognized immediately the halla on the red seal; her clan. She took it with shaky hands, opening it slowly. She breathed deeply, and started reading.

_Da’len:_

_I know it’s been a while since last time we saw each other.Last time we did you were talking to the whole city from a balcony, looking as the warrior you’ve always been. It seems like yesterday when our keeper gave me that little baby playing with her own blanket. I held you in my arms and you smiled at me with those beautiful eyes of yours and I knew I had to protect you, even if we don’t have the same blood running through our veins, you’re are my daughter and you’ll never stop being my little girl I held in my arms on a summer night._

_I remember when master Varanorth gave you your first bow and some elder hunter was teaching you how to fight with it. Your hands were so shaky everyone stayed away from the training area. I also remember when you got your vallaslin, you spent the whole night before thinking which mark would’ve represent you and your people the best._

_And then you had to leave, my little girl was finally growing up and sometimes I wonder why our Creators took you away from me. I saw the look in your eyes, you were never going to see us again._

_But some weeks later we heard news from small towns we passed by, a dalish grey warden was being hunted by The Humans’ lord. Mythal knows how relieved I felt, you were alive at least. And then more came, you were facing humans, dwarves, elves, gathering them together to fight and protect the land. I spoke to the keeper; I needed to see you again. It took us months to find our way out of the woods and into the city, when we finally reached the place humans call Denerim, there were few days left for new humans’ lord’s coronation. I tried to get into the castle before, but Shems wouldn’t let a “knives ears” walk into the castle if it was not some servant. A young man saw me, and asked me what was happening. When I told him, he smiled at me, rubbed his neck and spoke to the mans with a sheepish voice and grin on his face, the guardsmen let me go into the Throne Room without a word, later, when I saw him walk towards the seat, I realized that young man was the soon to be king, you chose well da’len._

_When I finally saw you, you looked so big and proud of yourself I couldn’t help but cry and wipe the tears away._

_Now we have a land to call home, even though there’s so much work to do left._

_But the reason why I’m writing you is because we left to The Free Marches not long ago, perhaps a week, our keeper had a dream with Asha’bellanar, she called us, and we’re honored to go where she says, it has been years since last time she spoke to the people._

_We settled our camp next to a city, Kirkwall. I cannot ask you to come, but I wanted you to know where I, us, your family is._

_Love,_

_Mother_

She finished her reading just to dry the tears away from her eyes; she closed the letter and left it over her desk. Teagan was on the door waiting for her to take her to the alienage.

─*─

They were together again at dinner. Mahariel looked at the plate with full disgust, her face ashen, drinking water in small sips before she could let fall a little piece of meat or salad in her stomach─ **Did you go to see Wynne?** ─ he asked, grabbing her hand, she didn’t take her eyes off her small silvered spoon.

─ **I didn’t** ─ She answered, closing her eyes, even darkness was spinning, making her feel even dizzier─. **I feel better, I promise** **.**

─ **Dear** ─ He said, pinching her cheek─ **, I know you** ─. He let go, leaving a red mark on spot he had squeezed ─, **and you’re not okay** ─.Alistair frowned when his eyes fell upon Mahariel’s plate─. **Look at that! You haven’t even ate the poor rabbit, you remember that little elf back a year ago?** ─. Mahariel rolled her eyes, moving her food around with her spoon, like some little kid playing with her meals─, **when I caught her eating Leliana’s…**

─ **Okay! I get it** ─She gasped, blushing ashamed.

─ **Bread** ─ He finished his sentence─ **the poor young woman looked so confused in the morning.**

─ **Fine!** ─ She gave up; rising of her seat **─,** **I lost my appetite anyway.**

─ **See?** ─ He said, wiggling his eyebrows at her─ **You’re sick young lady, now go and see our dear court mage, I’ll meet you in our chambers.**

<<Our chambers>> she thought, but they weren’t even married, and probably never will, she was an elf, after all, probably she might never be called something more than _mistress_.

─*─

─ **Is everything fine my lady?** ─ Wynne was always joking with the title. _Consort_ Erya Mahariel Sabrae, she sighed, even she tangled her own tongue or forgot to say consort before her name.

─ **Funny** ─She answered, frowning, not in the mood for jokes; her vision of Wynne’s face was turning blurry. She blinked, once, twice, before focus.

─ **What is it?** ─ The mage crossed her arms, examining Erya with her eyes from head to toes.

Erya breathed, ready to complain, she even had to refuse the cake Shianni offered her back on the alienage. It looked delicious, and she loved strawberries, but suddenly feltlike throw up since the moment she smelled rose’s perfume on the red-haired girl.─ **I’ve been feeling dizzy _all_ day!** ─, she explained **─.** **I _can’t_ eat! Why? Because I never thought how awful does rabbit meat smells, and taste! Oh creators!**

Wynne let a warm grin show on her face, but she kept listening without saying a word. Mahariel continued─ **Even water taste funny to me, and the merely thought of drinking it makes me feel like throwing up** **.**

─ **Erya** ─The mage sat down on a chair next to the small fireplace─ **How many moons have you lost?**

Mahariel touched her chin thoughtfully─ **One** ─ She said, and realized some moments later─, **Wynne….you’re not thinking I might be….**

─ **Pregnant?** ─ Wynne stayed calmed, Erya opened her eyes widely, hands slowly going up to her flat belly.

─ **I can’t have children Wynne, grey wardens’ taint…** ─the young elf explained, trying to hold back the knot on her throat <<Another thing it took away from me>>.

─ **Yet you are** ─ Wynne sat up, walking towards her and guiding the girl to the sit. Erya sat down.─ **See this?** ─ A white orb showed up on Wynne’s hand and she slowly putted it into Erya’s belly, turning into a clear red light when it made contact with the girl’s body─ ** _That_** **is the proof of life growing inside you.**

─ **But…** ─She mumbled.

─ **Life shows up in places we cannot imagine, child** ─. The mage hugged her, her fingers running through her hair **─,** **you may call it a miracle.**

─ **Alistair…** ─ She tripped with her words, confused **─,** **doesn’t need a child right now; it will only cause him trouble** **.**

─ **I told you once how you should’ve finished it, so you wouldn’t suffer later, yet you both fought against everything, you proved how love can survive even in most complicated situations, what is growing inside you, is only anevidence of how much you two love each other** ─.She fell in silence, and Mahariel kept looking at her **─,** **you cannot say what he needs or doesn’t need right now, talk to him, he’s the king, I’m sure he can do something, you’re also The Hero of Ferelden.**

─ **I still being an elf, Wynne** ─ Erya said, fighting for her eyes to stay open. Wynne’s hand felt so relaxing, like when she was little and Ashelle used to do same thing with her when Erya was too wakeful to sleep─, **a dalish one.**

─ **Just promise me you’ll speak with Alistair** ─ Ashelle used to say the very same phrase when she had a fight with Tamlen.

─ **I will** ─She took a deep breath, standing there, feeling like home, tears came after a time─. **I’m scared** ─ She said, a picture of a blonde boy came to her mind, running towards her, she realized then how much she wanted, _needed,_ that unborn baby.

─ **Alistair will stand beside you, I know he will** ─She was even more scared of that. Neither Eamon nor Teagan were going to support him if he did that, even if he wanted that child.

They didn’t even seem to accept the fact of them together anymore.

And the thought made her cry even more. So she stood there, with Wynne, till she calmed enough to go back to her chambers.  

  
  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's something I need to know, which version was better ?


	2. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She loved him, more than anything.  
> That's why she wanted to stay away from him.

She asked one of the maids to prepare a bath for her before she got to the room. Erya sat on the bed and took a book on her hands. She opened it, watched it without reading anything, and then closed it again.Words were nothing but elegant lines gathering together, crashing in her head with no place to fit. She buried her face among the written pages, closed her eyes and threw herself to the bed, trying to think straight, _one phrase_ , “we are going to be parents”, “Parents”, seven words, it couldn’t be difficult.

She fought a damn Dragon, united a whole kingdom, saved Thedas, she could do it…Right?

Someone knocked on the door _─_ ** _My Lady? Lady Erya?_** _─_ Elianne was on the other side _─_ _, **your bath is ready, the other girls and I will be waiting for you to help you get undressed**._

_─_ ** _Sorry, what?_** _─_ She walked towards the door, opening it _─_ _. **I’ve told you before, you girls don’t need to do that**_ _─_ _,_ Erya waved her hand from side to side, blushing. _─_ ** _I can do it on my very own._**

─ **Then I beg your pardon my Lady** ─Elianne bowed slightly and Erya shook her head.

─ **Please! Don’t!** ─Erya Exclaimed, looking to each side of the hall, she would ask Fen’harel to take her with him if anyone else was watching.─ **I’m no…no lady** ─«Erya, you’re female» Immediately replied on her thoughts, Elianne was probably thinking the very same thing. ─ **I’m just Erya, please, Mahariel if you must, but don’t go with my lady, or Consort, or Hero of Ferelden, I still think The King could’ve figured out a better name.**

The girl chuckled; looking at Mahariel kindly ─ **Then let me escort you to the bathroom, Lady Mahariel** ─.Erya nodded, following her, palming her face when Elianne wasn’t looking.She didn’t understand what Mahariel meant.

─*─

The Castle’s Royal bathroom was large, not as king’s chambers, but considering others, a house one didn’t have a mabari fountain pouring water over the tub.It was, certainly, the most Orlesian thing Erya found in Ferelden, and she had never been in Orlais, but everyone kept saying Orlesian people were… peculiar. The floor was made ofwhite flagstone she could almost see herself on it, so bright and clean; castle’s servant did a good job. Walls were nothing but cold grey, covered with blue curtains though the windows were so high neither Erya nor anyone could reach them.

After disbanding the girls, she finally felt comfortable; she had spent the whole way to the bathroom looking at everybody, wondering if they would notice and if they did, if they were going to say anything. She looked herself on the mirror, at her flat belly, she never thought in how complicated would be to something so small grow into something like a being in such tight place, she should know, she had that size once, twenty-two years ago.

She untied her armor, shoulders first, chest second, then gloves and boots, trousers after it, it had an order for her, like some childish song. She grabbed a towel and a piece of soap, placing everything into a wooded bucket, walking to the bathtub, getting rid of her smallclothes as she walked.

The water was really warm, relaxing her tense muscles. She dipped her head in the water, trying to think, but she had no enough oxygen on her lungs, going out some seconds later. Erya soaped up her shoulders and arms, her face and behind her ears, laughing lowly, her ears were really sensitive, softening her aggressive touch against her skin when she reached her belly. She placed the soap and sponge to a side after washing herself, and started caressing it.

The thought of having a piece of themselves, a proof of how much they loved each other growing inside her made her smile, it was selfish to be happy, but Erya couldn’t stop feeling that way. With fingers running up and down, she pictured a boy with golden hair and bright hazel eyes laughing and holding his parent’s hands.

Before she could stop, she started to sing. The very same song Ashelle taught her when she was really small, the one she sang for her when Erya was nothing more than a baby with chubby fingers and pale skin.

─ **Someone is in a really good mood** ─ Alistair’s voice coming from the door quiet her ─. **May I join you?**

─ **My singing?** ─ She asked, tilting her head and smiling,─ **then you should have worn that dress and danced that ball with Darkspawns back at Ostagar, who knows? Maybe that was the right tactic to use; Loghain would’ve been too distracted to leave the battle.**

─ **And miss the chance to fight an ogre at the top of a falling apart tower?** ─. He laughed, taking off his armor .─ **Perish the thought.**

─ **I still think it could have worked** ─ Mahariel pouted, trying not to smile as she talked.

─*─

A few minutes passed by, maybe an hour, time always slipped when theywere together. They lied just there, resting on each other bodies, letting their worries float away with the water.

Still, he had not said a single word about her and the visit to Wynne.

─ **And what did Wynne tell you? Are you sick? There’s something wrong?** ─ He asked, pouring water over her head.

_─_ ** _Shit_** _─_ thought, being an inch close to speak.

She wasn’t ready at all to reply that question.

She wanted anything but to cause Alistair any trouble, but neither Eamon nor Teagan to use their baby, her baby, and simply take him─ or her─ away from her. «Maybe I’m the one who should go» Thought, «The one who should stay away, for a while, only a while», told herself, as if it would make her feel any better, it did not.

But only took her a second to realize what she wanted.

It reminded her when Tamlen told her that anytime she felt any doubt, she could always flip a coin.

Not to choose for her.

Because she would realize what she truly wanted while it floated on its way back to her hand.

─ **Everything’s fine** ─ Erya simply said before adding─, **but apparently I could use some rest; she told me not to tell you** ─. She reached his ear and whispered, ─ **however, she said life in court is not made for me after all.**

─ **Please, don’t say that** ─ Alistair held her hand and met her gaze **─** **. I probably wouldn** **’** **t be here if it wasn** **’** **t for you** ─. His wet lips kissed her forehead and it took all of her willpower for not to claim his lips as hers. Her cheeks turned red, something about this pregnancy was already making her different, _sensitive_ **─** **, I won** **’** **t lie to you Erya, this will take time, but I mean it every time I say I want an** **“** **us** **”** **.**

His word, his feelings, all about him was too good to be true sometimes.

And it just made the pound of guilt heavier on her heart.

She loved him, more than anything, too much to make him choose between the happiness of a whole kingdom and her; she already had been that selfish the night before the final battle.

─ **I love you** ─ He added, almost dreadfully, like if some little voice inside his head was telling him something was not right.

─ **I love you too** ─«And that’s precisely why I’ll leave your side» **─** **, more than anything.**

That was everything, He slowly reached her lips, and she lost her fingers on his soft blond hair, biting slowly his lower lip, holding tight, tasting; memorizing every single part of his body, of his touch.

He took her body on the waters; the calming warmth had turned her skin even softer. Her moans and gasps were drowned on the deepness of his sweet mouth.

Her journey could wait for a little bit.

**Note: This is probably the hardest thing I ever wrote *blushing deeply* I’ll go and hide somewhere after I end this chapter before I get strike by a lightning.**

─*─

─ **You know…** ─ they were back on their chambers. Alistair was playing with the wet tips of her hair and Mahariel was reading a book she had borrowed from Wynne days ago ─. **When I first saw you, the first impression I had was that you were singing for someone else, you were just there, quiet.**

And it was just because it was very rare to hear her sing. She looked up at him, blinking with her big blue eyes. That look on her face just made him feel like kissing her again.

─ **I think you’re having visions, Alistair** ─ Erya replied, looking back to the pages ─. **Suddenly want to become a parent?**

─ **Well…** ─He said, and Erya looked way more eager for his answer than usual; she closed her lips into a thin line, like if that way he couldn’t see how impatient she was. But almost two years together made her the person he knew the most, she had being the only woman he ever laid with before….before….before no one, she didn’t count, she was not important, she only saved his beloved’s life.

That was it.

─ **I would be lying if I tell you that I’m not thinking about having a girl, or a boy, running through the castle stealing cheese with their cute pointy ears, or maybe just both, what do you think?** ─. And he intended to marry Mahariel for that; there would be no “bastards” on their relationship, if Erya with the taint could bear a child on the first place. He felt hopeful, he knew she could do whatever she proposed herself; she became that kind of Hero for him and his country.

Mahariel remained on silence for a few seconds, staring at him, he really hated every time she did that─ **So** ─, finally spoke, reading a few lines of her book before continuing─ **Pointy ears, huh?**

─ **Who do you think their mother will be? Zevran?** ─ She laughed, but there was no humor in her voice, and that troubled him even more. He had a bad feeling when she almost collapsed on her own feet; she was not being herself that day . **─** **I know Eamon will kill me, he wants me to marry a spoiled noble girl, to “preserve” my heritage, but it’s only blood, in Maker’s name!** ─. For what concerned him a year ago, they could fill a bottle with it and put it over the throne, it meant nothing for him back then. But now he was there, and fear of losing her was hurting his heart, he had to tell her **─** **. I…I know it will have to wait but** ─, he breathed in, and then out, there was no point in hiding it from her anymore. He had a plan, of course, he wanted to take her to Orlais, where she never had been, and then propose after a small party Celene would celebrate in a few months, but Mahariel always found a way to crash his plans, they could never have the perfect time or place, **─** **I want to marry you.**

─ **Yes** – She replied, almost instantly, like if she didn’t understand what he just had said, some part of Mahariel was far away where he could not reach her─ **your majesty** ─. She busted out into laugh.

There was actually nothing he could do with her, right?

─ **Maker, you’ll never stop with that, will you?** ─ She shook her head, covering her mouth with the book she had stopped reading long ago.

─ **Alistair** ─ Erya said, and he felt how his heart ached, she had used that very same tone that night, there was nothing good coming next─; **I’m going back with my clan for a while.**

─ **What?** ─ He replied, not surprised at all, just hurt, why she didn’t say anything before?─. **Why?**

**─** ***** **─**

He frowned; it was never good when he frowned.

─ **Won‘tbe for a very long time** ─ She lied, yet Erya managed to keep her voice still─ **My mother said the clan had a task in hand, I want to know what it is.**

Her mind could get busy later with thoughts about if they would accept her back with a human’s baby growing inside her, the king’s firstborn, nonetheless.

He sighed, and Erya felt a wave of relief filling her very tense muscles─ **just….promise me something.**

─ **Speak.**

─*─

─ **You will write me every week, day if it’s possible, I’ll get the whole army to bring you back here if I don’t have news in a month from you** ─ Mahariel nodded─. **And stay in a city or town, if they’re close to some, I don’t want to hear from you fighting werewolves or walkingtalking trees** ─ She laughed again, this time for real, her giggle reminded him to a little squirrel. He wanted to kiss her.

─ **I can live with that** ─ Mahariel finally placed the closed book over the bed, and met his gaze filled with some new, burning determination in her eyes; she was not going to change her mind─. **If you promise me you won’t marry anybody while I’m gone.**

─ **That’s easy** ─ He smiled at her, like if he was telling some kind of joke, but he wasn’t. There was no way he would let Eamon to manipulate his life that way, not even when Teagan was supporting him; Alistair was young but no fool, and he could see the way The Arl stared at Erya’s hips as she walked or trained. Or the way he shamelessly flirted with her back on Redcliff.

─ **There’s another thing Alistair**.

─ **Another? Really? Please don’t tell me you’re leaving tomorrow** ─ Mahariel curled up like a little ball with the blankets and looked towards the wall, ─ **you’re leaving tomorrow.**

She slowly nodded, without even look at him.

She was acting too fast, and it was turning out to be very difficult for him to follow her pace. For him, everything changed in one single morning, and she wouldn’t tell him what was wrong and he would never pressure her, she would tell him whenever she felt ready and he would understand; he always did.

Alistair leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then her neck. Erya soon kissed his lips with passion. He held her in his arms that night, as tiny as she was between them, her warmth could calm down his worst fears. His fingers on that soft pale skin, his body on top of hers, she couldn’t be closer than she already was, yet he wanted more.

Night couldn’t last long enough.

─ **Erya** ─ He said, brushing her hair with his fingers, her shoulders went slightly up and down as she breathed. She was clearly on the very depths of her dreams,─ **Love, are you asleep already?**

─ **Mnmnm** ─ an incoherent murmur was her answer, and then she moved, sheltering her face in Alistair’s bare chest.─ **No? Maybe? Yes?**

─ **That song, could you sing it for me?** ─ Erya opened one of her eyes, the puffy red on it made very clear she was really sleeping.

─ **Seriously, Alistair?** ─ He smiled at her, and she closed both eyes again, Alistair put her next to him, so near he felt her warm cheek on his chest. On the quiet night her voice felt even more relaxing. He tried to forget that she wasn’t going to be there anymore, at least not for a while; she said it wasn’t going to be for very long, and he believed her.

─*─

She continued even though he felt asleep a few seconds later.

The song encouraged a traveller who, away from home,walked a lonely road when darkness had fallen. She never thought a song could so clearly remind her own destiny.

But that was a year ago. Now, she kept her baby as a secret from Alistair, there was no war or darkspawn on her way, this was something only she would understand.

She left that morning, kissing him on the cheek before leaving. She promised herself to tell him, one day, when he became the king she truly believed he would be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got inspired with the song "May it be" from Enya.  
> It's a pretty cool song, but makes me sleepy :'3  
> Oh and sorry for my poor description of....sex?  
> I'd read a lot of fluffy smut before writting it, but it didn't work... :/  
> Edit: Hehe, it's better now or what ;)


	3. Heroes meet each other

The waving of the ship was driving her sick; she even took the advice of one of the sailors of going to the main deck, the breeze helped, but waving made her feel like she was throwing up her breakfast more than twice.

She arrived the port around midday with a hood covering almost her whole face, the last thing she needed was crowds around her waiting to see “The hero of Ferelden”, though the Grey warden’s armor was suspicious enough.

- **Move knives ears, people are working here** \- She turned back to look the man with an intimidating look, the silver glow of the Grey warden’s emblem holding her hood changed the man’s face expression into surprise- **Uh…sorry my lady, I didn’t mean to offense**.

- **Yet you did** \- Her eyes went back to the sea- **Keep going with your business** -

- **Yes, I will, thank you my lady** -

She saw the seabirds gathering around the distance, some pillars with golden statues of slaves covering their eyes rose before the entrance, she was there, the city her mother mentioned in the letter; Kirkwall.

She walked around the deck, admiring, seeing, now she just had to find a way to get to her clan.

Before she knew, there was, the docks. With a black leather bag on her shoulder, she started walking around, trying to find a way to get out the city. Making question and some stops because of her nausea, she arrived to Hightown.

She got impressed; it was thousand times prettier than Denerim, splendid estates with beautiful ornamented balconies. The golden statues seemed to chase around the whole place, or maybe was just the nausea causing her ideas.

Before she could take a step ahead, some guy with red hair stumbled with her; he was running away with some small bag full with coins.

- **Hey!** \- She yelled, knowing that was someone else’s bag, he turned right, ignoring her.

A sharp sound broke her thoughts; an arrow.

And just like that.

The man was nailed to a wall.

Seconds later, two young people, a man and a women; probably with the same age as her, showed up from running; she was just there, standing.

- **Excuse me lady** \- The young man spoke, he had a tanned skin and eyes with a deep yellow color, just like the girl back him, they also shared the same hair color, black- **Have you seen….?** -Twins, Mahariel thought.

- **A red-haired man running away with his hand on YOUR bag of coins?** \- He was smiling, pleased, trying to catch a breath. Erya pointed the street back her- **He’s right now attached to a wall.**

- **Thank you** \- The girl said running after her twin brother.

“Welcome to Kirkwall, Mahariel” said for no one else than herself.

Then she remembered the promise she made Alistair, staying in the city; great, now she had to speak to whoever was in charge of the city.

                                                                             *______________________________*

Finding the place wasn’t difficult; it was the largest building in Hightown after the Chantry. In there; started to look for someone to talk about her need of getting, in any case, a minor place in anywhere available in the city.

- **Can I help you young lady?** \- A man with a reddish brown hair and polite manners spoke to her.

- **I need to talk with….** -then she realized; she knew nothing about the city- **whoever is in charge here**.

After a year as King’s consort, her manners with people had slow progress, at least she stopped calling “You, shem” to every unknown human she spoke to.

- **You’re talking about our viscount?** -

- **Yes, of course I was….I…** \- She had to stop, or things were only going to get worse- **Look** \- said after a deep sigh- **I’m The Hero of Ferelden and I’m in Kirkwall attending my own personal business, but I really need, in any case; a house anywhere in the city for staying a time.**

Of all the things she thought she would say to get help, “I’m The Hero of Ferelden” wasn’t among them.

- **Come with me** \- But everything solve surprisingly fast with those five words. Or at least she thought that. Once they got to a large door, only he got in-Hold on a moment my lady.

                                                                        *______________________________*

- **How much did you just say I had to wait?** -

She just couldn’t believe it. After what it seemed an eternity the viscount let her in, his office was boring, a way too practical decoration; Alistair’s study had blue curtains and paintings over the walls, the viscount one had naked walls and dark red curtains.

Why she was thinking in Alistair anyway?

- **A few months, we need to arrange the paperwork and decorate your small house in Hightown; and also** \- there was the real reason- **we need to receive the confirmation from King Alistair**.

- **Confirmation for what my lord?** \- She was trying to be polite, though the “my lord” didn’t cover how mad she was and they knew it.

- **We need to now the reasons of your unexpected arrival, my lady.**

“I’m pregnant with King Alistair’s bastard”.

**-I told to your seneschal that I had personal matters, not all my life moves around the court my lord-**

**-We still need to know…** -She was running low of patience.

 **-What? All this distrust matter because I’m an elf?** \- A moment of silent filled the room.

“Your baby, control yourself for your baby’s sake” Those words were like a mantra for her.

- **I’ll wait how much you want me to, but I’m also telling you that Alistair were the one who told me to come here, I have things to do with my elder Dalish camp and he didn’t wanted me in danger** \- Her voice sounded like a threat- **So if I only get a single scratch while I wait for your paperwork, you’ll have the whole Fereldan army sailing to this city.**

- **Y-y-yes…my lady…** -The viscount voice trembled, for a second he wanted to turn back his word- **We’ll call you from the city once the paperwork gets done**.

He knew now how strong she had to be for lead an army to a victory.

 **-Good-** She nodded, crossing her arms- **I’ll be waiting with my Dalish Clan**.

And she left the room, leaving nothing else than silence between the two mans.

She went outside the building holding on for not screaming like a little girl having a tantrum.

She just sat on the stairs, waiting for her ire to go away.

She even forgot to ask how to get out the city.

- **Ugh!!!! Fenedhis!!!** \- Exclaimed.

* * *

Garret found himself thinking about that stranger, beautiful stranger.

Her eyes were shiny blue and his lips twisted in an unwilling smile when he heard her voice, soft and sweet, melting his ears. She was shocked for some reason; she looked like if she just got into the city, he would remember a beautiful face like hers, or at least the deep blue tattoo in her forehead.

 **-Hawke! Are you even listening? -** Aveline’s voice took him away from his fantasy.

Marian coughed- **I’m here too Aveline** \- She pointed him- **Twins, remember?**

 **-I know, first you and Garret, then Bethany and Carver-** The silence filled the room, Bethany didn’t make it till Kirkwall.

- **Now** \- Garret spoke- **Going back to the important thing**.

 **-The debt with the witch-** Marian had some weird twin thing of finishing his brother sentences once in a while.

 **-Yes, we must get to that place near the mountain-** And Garret always would follow her games, it was his “elder” sister after all.

 **-And after that you can focus on that one-hundred sovereign for the expedition-** Aveline held a map of the mountains outside the city over her desk.

 **-We can go there just now-** Marian and Aveline looked each other’s face.

 **-Actually……-** Marian played with her hands; she always did that when she was nervous.

-I’ll wait outside till you get one- He stood out of the guardsmen’s headquarters waiting for his sister when he saw a black hood with a cloak heading towards the building gate. It was she.

 **-Ugh!!! Fenedhis!!!!-** She yelled while she sat on the stairs.

 **-Bad day? -** He said without thinking too much about his words.

 **-You have no idea-** She made a pause and looked at him, her blue eyes scanning him **\- Oh! It’s you again; did you get your money back?**

* * *

“Yep, they were totally twins” she thought as he sat beside her.

 **-Yes, I did, thanks to some dwarf named Varric-** He smiled, obviously pleased by the memories.

**-He did the arrow thing? It felt like a knife on me ears-**

**-Yes-** He nodded **\- He did, with his crossbow, Bianca.**

 **-He named his crossbow? –** She asked, her eyes wide -

- **Don’t ask me! I had a dog when I was little and I named him Dog-** She laughed with his comment, Maker, he wanted to hear that laugh every day **\- I’m Garret Hawke.**

* * *

 **-I have a lot of names-** Erya said, her lips smiled softly **\- But you can call me Erya…Mahariel.**

He stopped smiling, the smile became surprise.

* * *

The Hero of Ferelden.

He fell in love WITH The Hero of Ferelden.

Andraste’s ass.

* * *

Twenty complete seconds…..and Garret didn’t said a word.

 **-Still breathing? -** She asked.

- **Barely** \- He answered- **Sorry but….wow.**

- **I know, it’s a title that swallows my name** -

- **Sorry** \- He ran out of words.

- **Oh, don’t apologize; I’m used to it** \- She had to ask before she forgets it…again- **I have a question…**

- **Yes?** \- His voice was harsher than Alistair’s.

- **How can I get out of the city?-**

**-Were specifically?-**

**-The mountains, my Dalish Clan is staying there-**

* * *

He was going to die, he was sure; he couldn’t be luckier today; maybe the Maker wanted to be nice with him one last time.

 **-We’re heading there-** His sister showed up from the door with Aveline.

 **-Have you finished already?** \- He asked to his sister.

- **Yes** \- She said- **I needed to speak with Aveline.**

- **She wants me to put your brother Carver in the guardsmen** -

- **As delicate as always Aveline** \- Marian’s cheeks turned red.

- **I understand you want to help him, but he has to open his own gates** \- Garret frowned.

- **Yes, because you get so along with him** \- Pure irony in her words.

- **Whatever** \- Erya was trying to look somewhere, embarrassed, she shouldn’t be there- **Marian, Aveline, allow me to introduce to….**

* * *

\- **Erya** \- Mahariel interrupted him; another “Hero of Ferelden” meant more awkward silences.

- **Oh, hi!** \- The young girl with black hair smiled- **I’m Marian Hawke, this asshole’s twin sister** \- She pointed Garret- **And she’s Aveline Vallen** -

- **Nice to meet you** \- A mature human woman with light red hair wearing guardsmen’s armor shook her hand with Erya’s as a salute.

- **Same thing** -

- **She’s going with us** \- Garret was trying to hold his enthusiasm.

- **It’s my clan** \- She took off her hood; touching the blue tattoo in her forehead- **I’m Dalish Grey Warden and….** -She wasn’t going to be able to help them in the fights- **I’m sorry.**

 **-Why?** \- Marian asked trying not to sound dissapointed; finally meets a grey warden and can't see her fight.

\- **Although you might be curious about theses** \- She glanced at a pair of silver daggers hanged in her leather belt- **I won't be able to use them....at least not for a while.**

She didn’t wanted question.

 **-It doesn’t matter, you’re coming with us** \- And Marian, thanks the Creators, was smart enough to realize that.

 **-Then we have to make a stop at The Hanged man and look for Varric** \- Marian frowned with Garret’s idea **\- Or go home and look for Carver.**

Marian giggled **\- Better.**

* * *

She didn’t hated Varric, she was just; as always, trying to make them both, Carver and Garret, get along; but never worked really, Carver hated magic and Garret was a mage, it seemed reason strong enough.

After a stop in Downtown, they started their way to the mountain.

Flemeth’s debt would be sealed soon.

But he just couldn’t believe that he was actually traveling with the beautiful Hero of Ferelden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based in the default male Hawke's appearence, so Marian Hawke looks like him, not like th default female Hawke.  
> I don't remember the name of the mountains were the Dalish camp is.  
> So I just said "mountain" again and again :/


	4. Revealed secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mahariel gets to her clan.  
> Writes a letter for Alistair and another for Wynne.  
> Eamon takes Wynne's letter before she.  
> Eamon Finds out about Erya's pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to valeria1314151611 for the idea!!!!  
> I hope you keep helping me with this fic!

Next morning, a letter arrived to Denerim’s Palace.

_“To Alistair Theirin, King of Ferelden”_

_Kirkwall, has the honor of receiving to Lady Mahariel, Hero of Ferelden in our city, I will prepare a humble estate in Hightown for her staying. Although she wasn’t clear about her reasons for such unexpected arrival, Kirkwall is glad to have her until her personal matters are solved._

_Respectfully,_

_Viscount Marlowe Dumar._

And Alistair’s answer didn’t wait long:

_“To viscount Dumar, leader of Kirkwall”_

_With the highly respect, she’s always been an independent woman who takes care of her own business, she has my full trust as my royal consort, my dearest friend and fellow warden. She’ll be helping her Clan for a few months, at least that’s what she explained me personally, and I asked her to stay in the nearest town or city because she’s very important to me and for Ferelden himself, so I wanted to make sure that, at least, she is safe. Although she’s a Hero, I know how thoughtless she may be sometimes._

_Please, take care of her,_

_King Alistair Theirin._

(A postscript was added by Zevran’s hand, who curiously was visiting the palace that day)

_It means that if she gets hurt, your city will have to deal with the whole fereldan army, the king is too polite to tell you these words exactly._

                                                 *________________________*

One day before.

- **Erya!** \- Ashelle held her daughter in her arms- **I’ve missed you so much.**

- **Me too mom** \- The familiar warm comforted Erya, too many things in so little time, it was good finally have a well-known thing to hold on to.

- **Creators…you’ve grown a lot** \- She said, holding the ends of Mahariel’s hair.

- **She’s right da’len, time has changed you** \- A warm voice stabbed her from the back.

- **Keeper**! - She exclaimed turning and wrapping her arms around Marethari’s waist.

The rest of the clan gathered around her, greeting her with tears of joy, their beloved hunter, friend and daughter was back.

But as all peace, it couldn’t last forever.

- **Who are this shems, Mahariel?** \- Fennarel said, frowning looking at Hawkes and Aveline.

- **Wait...Mahariel? ....Grey……warden MAHARIEL? MAHARIEL, THE HERO OF FERELDEN?!** \- Marian’s eyes opened wide, turning at her brother- **You knew about this?** – Garret shrugged, smiling- **You sick little bastard.**

- **They brought me here Fenarel, so hold your bow before you even take it out** \- it felt like it the time has stopped, like if she never had left. The master Varanorth’s voice kept being soft and wise and hahren Paivel was surrounded by the youngest kids. Nothing had changed.

Nothing but her had changed.

And a piece of the puzzle was missing.

Tamlen was no longer there.

She killed him.

* * *

 

- **We actually, wanted to speak with the keeper** \- For a moment, judging by Erya’s look, running was a good idea.

- **Then come with me da’len** \- Marethari made a gesture, guiding them to the campfire- **and explain me what troubles you**.

Next to the fire, Marian finally spoke.

- **A witch, Flemeth…** -Her voice was cut by Mahariel’s gasp- **As I was saying….she saved my family in our way to Kirkwall from Lothering, and we promise her to bring you this** \- She took off an amulet from her neck and gave it to The Keeper- **Here**.

- **It…can’t be** \- Mahariel sounded surprised, offended even- **I…killed her**.

- **You Killed….Flemeth?** \- The thought of her trying to kill the Dragon he saw came to Garret’s mind- **Because when I met her she was a….**

- **Dragon with dark-purple scales, I know** \- Mahariel smiled and Garret fell in silence- **Against fire, ice my friend.**

- **When we met her she told us that the grey warden she knew were pretty far away** \- Aveline brought back the painful memories, her dying husband and the infection because of darkspawn’s blood.

* * *

 

When Lothering was attacked by Darkspawns she and Alistair were saving The Circle of Magi. She knew that sooner or later, Morrigan would speak about the grimoire, and they were going to look for her.

The witch was clever.

- **My apprentice will go with you and is going to help you with the ritual you need** \- Marethari spoke, ignoring Erya’s disgusted noise- After that, I want you to help her, she thinks her path is away from our people.

- **As you wish** \- Garret nodded in approval.

- **Wait, Merrill is leaving the clan?** \- Merrill was shy, naive and didn’t like crowds, how she was going to survive in a city full with people without stumble against a lamppost or get lost around the streets?

- **Is her choice da’len** -

- **Are you coming with us?** \- Marian asked, though she knew she wouldn’t.

- **I…can’t** \- Her eyes went to the ground, ashamed.

- **Don’t worry** \- Marian gave her a smirk- **Thank you Keeper, we’ll be back soon**.

And they left to the mountain, leaving Mahariel behind.

                                     *_________________________*

- **Mother** \- Erya went inside the aravel with Ashelle, who was choosing some herbs- **Can I speak with you for a moment?**

She was going to tell her.

But tears came before the words.

- **What troubles you da’len?** \- Her hands wrapped around her and she felt safe, she missed her.

They both sat on the floor. Her mother’s finger ran through her hair, like she used to do before when she was little, and she started to sing her favorite lullaby.

But now, Mahariel sang with her.

- **I…** \- Said more clam - **I bonded with a human, mother**.

Ashelle kept silence, knowing there was more.

- **And I don’t regret it** \- She sobbed- **Not even a single moment, I don’t even regret being pregnant with his child, I love him.**

- **I know ma da’len** \- Erya’s eyes opened wide, she knew- **And I also know who he is, The Human’s lord, am I right?** \- Mahariel nodded- **I realized when he was walking towards the throne, you never looked so stunning and proud, not even when you told me you and Tamlen were engaged** \- Then Erya felt guilt, Tamlen, she killed Tamlen- **The king seems a noble person, he gave us a land to watch and keep for ourselves; I built a house there, I have a place to return thanks to him.**

Another moment of silence came.

- **Pregnant did you say?** \- She wasn’t angry, she wasn’t disappointed, she was smiling- **I’m having a grandchild? Creators…I’ll be a grandmother?**

- **Yes mom** \- And tears came again. She didn’t hate her, she was happy for her.

- **Is a boy or a girl?** \- One warm hand went to Erya’s belly- **You should stop wearing that tight leather armor, you are hurting him…or her; How did the king felt?** \- The painful question came- **Is he happy with the news?**

- **He doesn’t….exactly now; I didn’t tell him, the only one who knows is Wynne, a friend of both** -

- **Why?** \- She cleaned her daughter’s tears.

- **Life in court isn’t all rainbows and sunshine** \- She explained, holding more tears- **There’s people who doesn’t approve my relationship with him, the ones who know of course, Alistair is a good king, but for now he can’t afford to lose the support of those who help him just for me, an elf.**

- **An elf who is the savior of every single life in Thedas** \- Ashelle corrected her.

- **Tell that to Arl Eamon** \- She remembered every single time he gave Alistair more meetings than required ones, minor ones, ones who Eamon could handle alone, but he didn’t wanted him near her, so while he was in meetings that didn’t require his presence, she was doing “delayed” paperwork- **I told Alistair I was coming back with my Clan for a while, and it wasn’t a totally lie, I want to help our clan with the task you said**.

- **The task my dear, I’m afraid that involves those young brothers who brought you here** \- Her dark brown eyes turned even darker- **And Asha’Bellanar** \- Flemeth- **She came to us, we were waiting for them.**

- **As she was waiting for me** \- The memories of her, waiting on her hutch’s door for her, she knew that they were coming for her all the time, and Mahariel felt stupid realizing that.

- **I spoke with Kirkwall’s Viscount because Alistair told me to; he’s going to give me a place to stay in, as he said, “a few months”** \- Erya’s fingers crossed with Ashelle’s- **I want you to come with me, I’ll also write a letter to Wynne to come with us.**

- **Of course I will ma da’len** -

- **Is it true that Merrill’s leaving the clan?** \- Merrill, the good girl with green eyes, the one who always wanted to stay in her clan.

- **It is, she has choose her fate and is our duty as her family to support her** -

- **I’ll go with her then** \- Someone had to tell her were the lampposts are- **I’ll visit frequently, and I’ll come to look for you once I get the place, promise.**

- **I have to give these herbs to The Keeper, and after I have some things to do around the clan, want to join me until Merrill comes back? Like old times?**

- **Sure!** \- She smiled, raising from the floor- **Like old times**.

                                                  *_____________________________*

The day she left became longer. During all the meetings he had, he couldn’t help but look at the open door, expecting to see her go through the hall with scrolls in her hands if she came from her study or with the daggers on her leather belt if she was going to the quarters to train with the soldiers. She would give him a cute wink and he had to pretend he didn’t saw her, though she knew he did.

Alistair stood in bed at midday; he couldn’t sleep since that night.

The bed felt larger, the night colder.

She wasn’t between his arms when he finally opened his eyes. He sighed, disgusted with reality; and closed them again.

In his dreams, she was there.

Warfang jumped to the bed and licked his face with joy.

- **Ugh!** \- He yelled, cleaning the slobber from his face- **What are you doing?**

The hound barked.

- **She isn’t here, you know?** -

Then cried.

Alistair found himself patting Warfang’s fur- **You miss her too, right buddy? We should go and bring her back, Eamon can sit in that uncomfortable throne and listen all the noble’s boring chat** \- He could almost imagine her face when she sees him- **Oh…but she would kill us if we do that right? She would cut me in pieces and feed you with my body….wait…you don’t like to eat people….right?**

Warfang came down from the bed, and started barking again once he got to the door.

- **Fine, fine, I get it** \- He took of the blankets from his legs and rose from the bed, walking towards the door.

A letter, closed, was lying on the floor.

Doubtless, he took it and opened it.

It was her.

He was sure it was her.

Once he opened, smiled; he would recognize that writing anywhere.

_“ ~~My beloved king”~~_

_“ ~~Alibear”~~_

_“ ~~Your highness~~ ”_

_“ ~~Alistair~~ ”_

_Oh, the hell with this_

_“My love”_

_I arrived safely to Kirkwall and already made the first visit to my Clan, I didn’t realized how much I missed them; nothing at all has changed. They received me with open arms and I saw Ashelle, my foster mother. I don’t think I ever told you how my birthmother abandoned me after I was born, well, she did, and Ashelle educated me, so she’s my mother, forget the fostering thing. Wait! You actually met her, coronation day? The elven woman with grey hair who left me breathless in a hug?_

_I also met some human twins, a boy and a girl, Marian and Garret Hawke, and his younger Brother, Carver; he’s a grumpy and hates magic; a dwarf, Varric, who named his crossbow Bianca. I know what you’re thinking, “Why my beloved girl can’t just meet normal people?” What can I say? I bring chosen ones to me, “that’s my girl”, I know honey._

_I’m staying now with my keeper’s apprentice in the city, she’s a mage, apostate now, but we’re not calling attention, promise. The viscount said that paperwork would take a **few** months, I think they didn’t believe me; they said I had to wait for “King Alistair’s confirmation letter”, so you’ll get some letter from Kirkwall soon I guess._

_Anyway_

_I miss you my love, I hope Eamon hasn’t called to every single woman in Thedas to meet you, Gods, what am I saying? He probably did already; right? You’ll see how time goes fast, and before you realize, will be together again._

_And we’ll work on those kids with pointy ears you wanted._

_Don’t smile like that, you pervert shem!_

_Just kidding_

_I’ll write you again soon._

_Always yours,_

_Erya_

_PS: You better take care of Warfang._

He laughed; she knew him better than anyone, better than Duncan or even himself.

He started to get ready for a bath after keeping the letter in one of his desk drawers.

There were no meetings, paperwork or even annoying Eamons who could ruin his good mood.

He got a letter from her after all.

* * *

When Eamon saw the emissary he was already in front of the infirmary’s closed door.

 **May I help you with something?** \- He asked to the young boy with long wavy hair.

- **I have this letter to Wynne the Royal Healer** \- Explained, showing the sealed letter- **It’s from the hero of Ferelden.**

That girl again, she left to Kirkwall three days ago and was already sending letters.

- **I will give the letter to her, don’t worry** \- A humble smile showed up in his face- **take this for the troubles** \- if words couldn’t convince him, ten sovereigns would cover the doubt.

- **Thank you my lord** \- The boy gave him the letter and took the golden coins- **I’ll keep going then my lord.**

He was grateful with her, she saved his city, wife and son; he couldn’t ask more.

But she became a threat to Theirin’s lineage when The Blight ended. Her blood didn’t provided nothing to the descent but a Hero that with the time would be forgotten.

If the only thing she wanted was some noble title she could just forget Alistair and marry his brother, Teagan, who was drooling for her elven hips.

But no, they were _in love_ , and he recognize that since he grabbed the looks that Alistair gave her in his estate when he thought nobody was looking.

But he wasn’t going to allow it.

Theirin’s bloodline wasn’t going to be in danger again. Alistair mother’s story wasn’t going to be repeated.

Curiosity made him open the letter.

_“Wynne”_

_Things are good here in Kirkwall, the city is quite pretty, at least Hightown, Downtown is…..attractive, it has bandits, thieves, drunks and crazy people wandering around. But “baby” and I are good…._

He had to stop his reading, “PREGNANT??? THE ELF WAS PREGNANT???”

After taking a really deep breath, his readings continue.

_….But “baby” and I are good. It has only been three days, maybe four when you receive this letter, but still, I’m getting use to this “nausea” thing and now I can eat if I cover my nose._

_I’m not staying with my clan, our Keeper’s apprentice wanted to leave the clan so I’m staying with her in….How do you humans call that place where they keep us? Alienage? Anyway…She’s very naive and someone has to teach her to not speak with strangers or where the alleys are._

_Alistair made me speak with the viscount, so I should have a decent house by the end of the month, my mother is coming with me and…I want you there too…I know is selfish from me to ask you when I promise you to speak with Alistair about our baby, but I couldn’t ruin him, he needs Eamon’s help and we both know he isn’t going to approve “baby” as Alistair’s child._

_I miss you so much._

_I already see you competing against my mother for “baby’s” attention._

_We’re waiting for you,_

_“Baby” and I_

_PS: I’ll make pudding and we can put a chair in the sunny balcony of my future house._

She was pregnant, and with King’s child. At least she was clever enough to leave, but he knew, he knew Alistair was reckless enough to go and look for her.

He needed to speak with her. See her.

And make some arrangement before losing his mind.

Fiona’s story would not be repeated.

He left the opened letter in the infirmary’s closest table, and his steps went straight to the Great Hall.

                                                               *____________________________*

- **Uh…** \- Alistair hesitated, maybe he was listening wrong, maybe the water from his bath got inside his ears- **You are travelling…where?**

- **Kirkwall my lord** \- He said- **I’ll help the viscount with his paperwork for admitting The Hero of Ferelden into her Hightown estate** -Alistair’s face remained filled with distrust- **I just assume that, with an emissary, things would be quicker.**

- **Oh! Well!** \- His doubts about Eamon’s concerning fade away, maybe he was accepting Mahariel after all- **Thank you Eamon…I….we, really appreciate your help** \- His smiled naively- **When are you leaving?**

- **I’ll go to the closest harbor right now your Majesty- With a reverence; he turned to the main door.**

- **Eamon** \- Alistair said from the throne, the Arl looked at him over his shoulder- **Thank you** \- There was that naive smile again.

                                                     *___________________________*

He would hate him if he knew what he was up to.

But maybe with the time the king would realize that it was for his own good and Ferelden’s future.


	5. Old friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erya meets Anders again  
> Garret feels jealous...  
> Someone makes an unexpected visit.

- **Oh!** \- Merrill got instantly blushed since Garret Hawke came thru the door- **Glad you came! I found a place clean enough for you to sit** -

He sat on the orange chair of Merrill’s desk.

- **You want something to drink?** \- She looked just too cute- **We have….water….**

- **It’s perfect Merrill, thanks** \- Garret smiled and she relaxed, finally- **Hello Erya, feeling comfortable?**

She was wearing some white dress her mother gave her while she was with the clan. It was strapless with a blue ribbon at the end of her modest breast and long enough to cover her feet. Instead of those heals she brought from her old chest back in the clan, she chose her boots, heels meant fallings and stumbles, both things could hurt her baby, reason enough to wait a while for wearing them.

And there was that necklace that Duncan gave her back in her joining, she always wore it.

- **Great! Actually** \- Nauseas came….again…it was the third time that morning, Erya closed her eyes, trying to focus- **No, not great at all, my nauseas are just worse.**

- **Nauseas? Are you resting properly? Are you sick?** \- She didn’t tell him after all, they just left her with Merrill in the alienage and promised visit soon.

- **Garret…** \- She let go a sigh- **I don’t think pregnancy is a disease you know?**

* * *

She was pregnant. Why she was in Kirkwall then? Why she wasn’t with the father instead? Pictures came to his mind, she having troubles with the father, the man abandoning her knowing he was pregnant and in the worst of cases, getting rape by some unknown.

After a moment he discarded the last one, nobody clever enough would get close to her with those daggers on her belt.

A pregnant woman only would mean troubles, bastards kids were a problem. But his heart kept beating fast when he just looked at her. If she only gave him a chance, in the future, he would be able to accept a child that wasn’t his? He was taking things too far away. But he wanted to mean something for her.

Now he had one more reason to get the money for that expedition.

- **Are you sure you’re okay?** \- He said, watching her held her mouth with one hand.

- **I’m o…** -She tried to say, but Merrill interrupted her.

- **She’s not; she’ll tell you she is….but she’s not**.

- **Merrill…** \- Her eyes narrowed to her friend.

- **Sorry, but I got so worried when you woke up in the middle of the night to….** – Her face looked naively disgusted by the memory of Erya throwing up.

- **Yes, that thing** \- Erya blushed, looking very beautiful, even ashamed.

- **Uh, I know a healer, he may help you** \- Anders could know about something to help her, maybe.

- **Sure!** \- There was that wide smile again **\- Where does he live?**

* * *

- **Darktown-** The single word made her feel tickles on her skin.

- **It sounds…dark** \- Merrill said almost reading Mahariel’s mind.

- **I’ll be there for protect you girls from harm** \- One naughty smile came from his lips.

Merrill’s cheeks became redder, maybe was something with bloodmagic? Mahariel held a giggle; she absolutely knew it wasn’t because of that.

- **Don’t worry about me** \- Erya came into the bedroom, looking for a small pack secured to a short leather belt, once she found it, she went back to the living room- **I bet you sister also has one of these** \- She said raising the dress till her legs, tying the belt to one of them- Now I’m ready.

* * *

Boots? She was wearing boots? He looked surprised for a moment and then he blushed, feeling his burned cheeks. Her legs had scars, prove of her adventure around Thedas; but beyond that, they looked perfect, having some attractive pink tent.

- **Now I’m ready** \- His eyes met immediately with hers while she took down the dress’s skirt-

- **What’s that?** \- He asked, though he saw Marian wearing one of those with her armor, he never asked.

- **Knives, little ones just in case** \- She took one out and he had to focus his eyes in hers and not in her leg.

- **So, we’re ready** \- Merrill took her staff and tied up a knife on her belt **\- Just in case, I don’t need to use it** \- She was talking about her bloodmagic **\- but just in case.**

- **Don’t worry Merrill** \- Mahariel smiled at her- Bloodmagic is a magic just like any other.

Suddenly became a good thing that neither Anders nor Fenris were around.

- **So, we’re ready to go?** \- Both girls nodded as response.

Merrill reached de door first, opening it for Hawke and Mahariel.

* * *

If she thought about Downtown as creepy, now she could see the imperceptible beauty after a small comparison with Darktown.

It just looked too…dark.

- **Are we there already?** \- She said after a while, nervous after some smuggler walked beside her and stared at her, she could have chosen another costume.

- **Pretty much, a few steps more and we’re there** \- She walked near Hawke and grabbed his arm.

She didn’t have her big daggers anymore so at least she could felt safe with them on her belt.

They reached a door, probably the only proper door she ever saw in the time she spent there.

- **It’s here** \- Garret opened it and Erya saw him and recognize him just from the back. She would never forget that soft blonde hair, he let go Garret’s arm and ran towards the man’s back, hugging him.

- **You’re here!** \- She yelled, happy- **I can’t believe you’re here!**

- **Erya?** \- She let him go and he turned back- **Erya! What are you doing here?**

\- **No** \- She said giving him a joyful chuckle **\- What are YOU doing here?**

- **I left the wardens Erya** \- His voice didn’t sounded full with life and vibrating emotions, sarcastic, like it used to be, it was no longer the “Anders” she met- **Those bastards made me get rid of Sir pounce-a-lot after you let the vigil.**

- **WHAT?** \- Anger was turning red her cheeks, the cat travelled with them even to the deep roads, hidden into “Anders’s skirt” like Oghren used to say.  

- **A lot of things happened after you left, Justice…-**

- **You didn’t tell me you knew The Hero of Ferelden** \- Garret’s hand rested on Erya’s shoulder being…..territorial? She couldn’t say.

- **Yes, she is….was also The Commander of the Grey wardens** -Erya smiled; blush showing down her cheeks- **You should be at Court, what happened?**

- **Uh…did you remember when I told you that grey wardens, because of the taint, can’t have children?** \- How is she supposed to say that almost a miracle was happening to her?

- **Yeah? What’s with that?** \- He looked up and down her body putting the information together, the he realized- **Maker! Don’t tell you’re….**

- **Pregnant…yes** \- She sighed, again, more explanations to give.

- **But then, the father is…** \- He remembered how Alistair worried about her when they met at the Vigil’s Keep, how he hugged her, how he kissed her when they both thought everyone left them alone.

- **Yes** \- She cut before he could even say the name- **And that’s exactly why I left Ferelden.**

- **Does he know?** -

- **No** \- Her eyes lost her usually kindly shine- **And hopefully, it won’t know for…a while** \- She shook her head, avoiding the thoughts of what she was going to say once they met again- **Garret brought me for a small check; my nauseas are just getting worse.**

\- **Fine** \- A bright light came out of his hands- **But I need you to…take down the dress-** Erya’s blush spread up her forehead this time- **Don’t look at me like that, I’ve cure your wounds even in….** \- Even in her breast, legs, back, waist; after The Architect’s experiments with her, her body was full with scratches and cuts from the blood extractions.

- **I’ll wait outside** \- Somehow Garret sounded upset with the whole situation.

- **Merrill, you’re staying right?-** Erya looked at her friend, untying the ribbon from her chest.

- **uh** \- Her eyes went to Garret and back to Mahariel over and over, truing to choose **\- I suppose…if you need me of course, I-I don’t want to disturb.**

Mahariel smiled, a whole year and Merrill didn’t change at all.

- **Stop saying that Merrill, you never disturb** -Merrill always was like that, shy, but shy because the rest of the Clan kept her away from them. Erya remembered when they were kids, how Merrill just sat on the disance reading because other kids didn't spoke to her and she was too introverted to ask. One they Mahariel sat beside her, helping her with her stydies or just watching her practice, sooner Tamlen joined too.  

- **Then I think I’ll stay** \- They just felt how the door closed behind them.

Garret left the room.

                                                                *________________________________*

A white top was the only thing covering Mahariel’s breast, her body was lying down in one of the infirmary’s tables.

Anders’s magic felt warm in her belly, his touch was soft while he tried to feel the baby.

- **Uh…Erya…** -Concern? Fear? Excitement? Either Mahariel or Merrill could tell which emotion was-

- **Creators Anders! There’s something wrong with my baby?** \- She rose, sitting on the table.

- **No! Maker, no! I didn’t mean to scare you! They are perfectly fine** -

- **They** \- Her hands were to her naked belly, they were safe- **They?**

- **Yes, they, you are having twins Erya** \- Twins, two, she was having two babies.

- **I’ll tell Garret** \- Merrill looked even happier than Mahariel; she went giving small jumps towards the door.

- **So, are you going to tell me now?** \- He reached her dress till her hands.

- **I can’t tell him Anders and neither you nor anybody can ask me that-  
**

- **I wasn’t going to say that, I just…want to be here to help you, this must be hard for you** \- He hugged her, she stood being that fragile girl that time made nothing but stronger.

- **Oh, Anders, he would’ve been so happy!** \- It felt like a blessing, maybe it was sign, the sign that it was happening only once- Twins! We’re having two babies.

* * *

He felt jealous when she left his arm to run towards Anders’s back, he felt jealous when he had no room in the conversation, he was jealous of how close they were.

But he was even more jealous of the secret they kept; Ander’s knew why Erya was in Kirkwall…at least more than he did.

He wanted to hit something, and that’s a lot to say for a mage.

- **Twins** \- Merrill showed up from the door. She reminded him to a cute shy squirrel, running around looking everything with her big surprised eyes.

- **Is she okay?-**

- **Oh! Yes, she is fine** \- Her fingers twined- **She has changed, you know?**

- **She has?** -Merrill covered her mouth with both hands, all blushed and embarrassed. She was kind of pretty with her big green eyes and childish giggles.

But she wasn’t Erya.

- **Oh! Sorry, forget it I was just…..thinking out loud, I won’t bother you with a boring talk about how I think about people**.

- **I have ears to listen if you want to speak though they’re not as cute as yours** \- She smiled, relieved. Her embarrassment was proving of her lack of communication with people, she didn’t seem to have lots of friends in the clan either; probably Erya was her only friend.

- **She used to be…impulsive, wild, always causing troubles with Tamlen** \- It was hard to picture Mahariel, The Hero of Ferelden as a troublemaker- **she spent a lot of time hunting in the woods, helping the younger hunters with their training and vandalizing our Hahren’s stories with puns, she compared the Fall of the Arlathan to “The feeling of losing a bow”-** She laughed, it seems she had many stories like that about Erya but suddenly, her expression turned sad- **She always smiled even if there were no reasons** \- He reminded that wide smile she gave him when they first _really_ spoke- **But now she just looks so sad…whatever is happening with her, be-beyond the pregnancy I mean….She’s my friend, my only friend, I must say, so I’ll support her.**

The door suddenly got open and Erya came out with Anders.

- **So** \- She said rubbing her eyes, he could tell she had cried, but those were tears of joy- **We’re ready to leave?**

- **The feeling of losing a bow?** \- Her eyes opened wide, recognizing the phrase.

- **Merrill!** \- Her eyes dazzled at her friend, who was hiding behind Garret.

- **Sorry!** \- But she wasn’t, there was too much joy on her voice.              

* * *

Anders’s went with them back to Downtown; he gave her some herbs to drink in a tea for her unsettled stomach and some sleeping potions.

Garret became colder in his company, avoiding talk with Anders when he was speaking to Erya.

The way back to The Alienage was pretty long, she thanked more than one time wearing the boots instead the heels, not even Leliana would have handled the whole way there.

- **Merrill** \- Garret said, looking at Merrill house’s door **\- You haven’t forgot to pay the rent…right?**

-No! - She exclaimed- **I paid this month and next one.**

- **Then what is that man doing there?** \- He pointed at the man who was standing in front of the door. He was wearing some noble suit and his grey hair rested braided on his shoulder, his chin covered with a long grey beard.

When Erya recognize him, she wanted to turn back and pretend she didn’t saw him.

But it was too late, he already _saw_ her.

* * *

- **Lady Erya** \- She turned pale; her expression blank and motionless.

Who was that man?

- **Eamon** \- She said once he had the nobleman in front of her.


	6. Chats with the Arl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eamon talks to Erya.  
> (SPOILER ALERT).....Some details about Alistair's mother for those who haven't read "The Calling"

He was there and she knew by the look he gave to her belly, he _knew_ ; but how? Wynne would never tell him something like that.

- **You should be more discreet with your letters, my lady** \- Her eyes opened wide, _that_ letter.

She felt stupid and reckless, how didn’t she realize? Someone could read the letter before Wynne…. was a relief that it was Eamon and not Alistair? Or was the opposite thing? She would rather Alistair to read the letter instead Eamon?

She turned back towards Merrill.

- **Can I speak with him for a moment?** \- Afraid, she was afraid and Merrill noticed- Please? - But there was no turning back.

- **Ah…Sure?** \- It sounded like a question; she was almost as scared as Erya was-

- **We’ll wait on the tavern** \- Anders pointed the alienage’s entrance-

* * *

- **I’ll stay with her** \- Garret frowned. She looked fragile in a way he didn’t saw before, her voice was shaking, her fingers twining.

- **Garret, please** \- Her soft and sweet voice was barely a whisper.

- **No, I’ll stay with you** \- She sighed, he knew he wasn’t making things easier, but he wanted to help.

- **Wrong answer** \- Anders shook his head- **Let’s go Garret, she can handle this, we’ll be back soon.**

* * *

**-But…! -** Erya’s look changed, running out of patience.

**-Stop!-** Her snap felt like cold water **\- You can’t play to be a hero with this!-**

**-I just wanted to help-** His insistence turned annoying, though his intention was good.

**-No one can help me with this-** She walked towards Eamon- Follow me- Erya leaded him inside Merrill’s house.

* * *

 

He watched her walk inside the house with the man’s company

- **I told you** \- Anders shrugged **\- Let’s go to The Hangedman Hawke, for your sake, I’ll buy.**

**-Fine-** He looked to the door once again, he wished she came out to look for him; but even his naively optimistic side knew that wasn’t going to happen.

So he left.

And didn’t look back that time.

* * *

Everything was silence; She sat on Merrill’s chair while the Arl stood, with his eyes studying her.

**-They're some weeks old Eamon, my belly still flat, so you can take your eyes off me-** Nerves, fear, confusion; all those feelings were gathering together at the same time on her chest.

He remained quite a few more seconds- **You know what happened with Alistair’s mother?** \- The question came like a slap, what he was trying to say?

She swallowed, taking a deep breath- **She was a servant at Denerim’s palace, Maric had an affair with her-** Somehow it felt like a wrong answer **\- She died birthing Alistair.**

**-That’s what everyone told Alistair-** He looked down and sighed **\- Her name is Fiona-** She didn’t want to believe, this “Fiona”…was just a lie.

**-Is? No, she’s dead, Goldanna told us-** It’s hard to forget a woman who calls you “elven bitch who runs after the king’s crown”.

**-Who?-** Maybe he was being dishonest, but his confusion was real.

- **Alistair’s sister** \- Her arms crossed, convinced.

**\- I don’t know what you’re talking about, Fiona didn’t have any more children, well, she was a Grey Warden, Alistair himself was a miracle** \- She could feel how he was gloating over her shock- **curious thing; she was also an elf, Theirins must have something over sharp ears** -

- **You’re lying** \- and if it was true, he lied and manipulated Alistair, he _was_ manipulating Alistair to _rule_ Ferelden using his lack of interest on court as an advantage.

- **Here’s my point my lady** \- Regret, she felt regret, regret of saving the life of that noble bastard who wanted to choose Alistair’s fate, again- **If you, a grey warden, is pregnant, it means that Alistair can have an heir, a _royal_ heir, not an elven bastard.**

**-How dare you?-** She wanted to reach her pocket and throw a knife, cutting his cheek or stab it on his chest, but she wasn’t like _him_ , he would have done that having a sword on his belt, killing two birds with one stone, literally.

- **It’s just the right thing to do-** Tears were burning her eyes; “No, don’t cry, that’s what he wants” she told herself over and over- **For Ferelden’s sake, it would be the ruin for Theirin’s blood, what are you after all? You’re just an elf or a Hero who will be forgotten like any other.**

- **You’re a bastard** \- A bastard who was making her feel like trash.

What if he was right? What if the right thing to do was just staying away…forever? Her babies will be no different from Morrigan’s child. What if her blood would only mess the Theirin's bloodline? Her name didn’t provided anything, no armies or noble contacts, she and her babies would be nothing but a problem for Alistair, and she loved Alistair, but now it wasn’t only her anymore.

Creators, she was even more confused now.

She wasn’t breathing properly; confusion and fear were bigger now. Her mouth opened slowly trying to catch a breath. Alistair, she needed Alistair.

Alistair would kick him out; Alistair would have told him to leave her alone…

The door suddenly opened with the kick and a black long boot full with buckles.

It wasn’t Alistair’s blonde hair, but she would recognize that blue headscarf anywhere.

- **I knew it was you, how are you kitten?** – Isabela- **Erya, are you alright?** \- She wasn’t, her skin was pale and her cheeks were red for the lack of breathing. The pirate walked towards the noble- **Get the hell out of here** \- Her golden dagger pointing at the Arl’s neck.

Eamon’s hand went to his pocket, reaching something while walked towards Merrill’s desk, leaving a key with a small paper **\- I spoke with the viscount, I hope you make the right decision** \- It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a threat- **If you’re going to keep contact with anybody else inside the castle, be discreet, Just imagine what would happened if Alistair opened the letter and found out about this…instead me** **-** Her eyes remained on the key.

- **Baby Eamon, it’s a baby-** If he knew about her twins, the things would only get worse.

When he turned back and walked to the door, her eyes went to his back, everything was turning blurry.

The door closed with a strident sound.

- **That was weird, what did…..** \- Erya’s view suddenly turned blank, only feeling how her body collapsed on the floor- **Erya!**

- **Creators Erya!** -Merrill was crying, poor girl, she did nothing but worrying her, same thing back in the clan, she heard Merrill’s voice outside the aravel when she passed out. Sometimes she wondered who was protecting who.

And how she was supposed to take care of her babies when she couldn’t take care of herself?


	7. A living nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you (Even Valeria) are going to hate me until Tomorrow.

_Pain, pain is all she felt for a while. She could hear whispers but no words. Blood, she felt blood running around her legs, cold, fresh, red._

_“I’m sorry” Anders said holding her hand, Merrill was crying, Garret held her face over his arms in a hug, Marian was having a fight with, Varric? She didn’t remember the name, Carver was just looking, like Aveline, but both had a sad look on their faces. Anders didn’t have to say, she already knew._

_She lost her babies._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Hate...  
> See you on chapter 8 :) !!!  
> I'll explain everything...tomorrow...


	8. Fresh start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eray WAKES UP from her nightmare in a brand new house.  
> Happy reading :)

Scared, her eyes got open and her arms surrounded her belly in a protective instinct. Urgently, she took off the silk sheets of her legs, no blood; her eyes looked for any sheets with bloodstains on it, none. She finally breathed, but then realized…that wasn’t Merrill’s apartment.

- **Oh, you woke up** \- Hawke came to the room with a glass of water **\- You had a pretty bad time**.

- **My babies** \- Her voice broke- **they’re gone right?-**

- **What? No!-** He gave her the glass- **But you need to rest, stay away from the world for a while, you were close**.

- **I...had a nightmare** -

- **With the archdemon? Because that will mean troubles** \- A smile inched his lips.

- **Silly** \- She laughed, then sighed, remembering the blood, everyone’s faces, their sadness, her sadness. She swallowed those emotions before speak- **I dreamt I lost my babies**.

* * *

- **You already got attached to them, huh?** \- She nodded, tears felling down her cheeks.

He hugged her and some flower fragrance came to his nose from her hair and he loved it.

- **Hawke?-**

- **Please…let me be like this** \- She opened her mouth trying to say something, but then she closed it again- **Who was that man?**

She sighed, a deep sigh- **King Alistair’s uncle** -

- **Then…** -The King was the babies’ father.

- **Yes** \- And no more words came from her, she wrapped her arms around him.

He had more questions, now more than ever, but his selfish side wanted enjoy more that single moment.

Because he knew her heart wasn’t his.

Because he knew he would never have her.

- **Someone was waiting here for you-** He let her go, illusions should be nothing more than that.

- **Who?** \- Her head tilted, some of her brown hair touching her lips.

He wanted to kiss those lips.

* * *

- **A friend of yours she said, a human, she arrive Kirkwall a few hours ago** -

- **I’ll go to see her, then** \- She rose from the bed.

- **No!** \- He took her body in his arms and pushed it back to the bed- **No, you have to rest, I’ll go to look for her.**

She brought the silk sheets up to her chin while Garret left the bedroom, her eyes looking around. The room was large and had beautiful orlesian furniture, white and gold. Big windows covered by sky-blue curtains, a chest at the end of the bed, a big wardrobe with a mirror at his side. A table beside her with a small pitcher full with flowers, Merrill.

One of her last memories, Eamon left a key and the small paper, a map to her new house and the key for the door.

He was a bastard, but at least wanted her safe.

- **Erya? Are you okay?** \- She nodded behind the sheets, Wynne- **I’m sorry, I left my infirmary when your letter arrived and…the Arl reached it first.**

- **He’s a fool Wynne** \- Erya sat back in the bed- **I was the reckless, I should’ve just ask you to come here and then explain everything, I expose myself, I have a secret and a letter almost screws up the whole thing.**

- **Don’t blame yourself, things happen for a reason** \- Wynne’s hand rested on Erya’s cheek while she sat on the bed **\- I saw him here in Kirkwall** -

- **What did he said? Let me guess….”take that girl with that bastard away from my king”?-**

- **Pretty much like “Take this paper and go to that place”, I had time to see the whole house, is beautiful, big, it has a balcony….-** Erya smiled- **Your new friends brought you here, you were unconscious** -

The thoughts of her nightmare came back- **Bleeding?**

- **No thanks The Maker, I left you alone for a while and you push yourself so hard** \- Her fingers twined with Mahariel’s- **That young girl, Merrill, went to her clan to look for your mother, but I think….** -The mage sighed and Erya frowned, not THAT conversation again **\- You should tell Alistair.**

- **We already spoke about this** \- She made an effort of raising her body.

- **Don’t even think about that young Grey Warden** \- Wynne made a gest with her finger, pointing the bed- **Rest, now.**

Without a word, she did as Wynne said.

- **Ferelden needs an heir, and you have it** -

- **Them** \- She corrected her.

- **What? Let me check them** \- A bright with light showed on Wynne’s hands.

* * *

Wynne felt them, beating, forming. They were ok; their mama’s shock didn’t do anything to them. Thank the Maker. They were too small to try to say a gender but she could tell one thing, they were eager, strong. They, both, wanted to live.

They wanted to live as much as much as Erya wanted to protect them.

There was a day when Wynne told Erya that a normal life was something she could never ask. Kids, a house, a family, some place to call home, being a grey warden took away all those things from her. She broke in tears that night, like Wynne did when she was her age; crying for the life she could never have.

But her children didn’t have to take that burden.

They could life like the normal person she could never be.

Now Wynne finally understood.

And saw the young mage whose child was took away from her.

* * *

- **They’re fine, both** \- A lonely tear showed up on Wynne’s cheek.

**-Wynne…is everything fine?** \- She never cried, not even when she found the apprentice she thought dead for years.

- **Have I ever told you that I have a son…or a daughter? I don’t actually know** \- She heard her conversation with Alistair, but Wynne never told her personally- **When a mage has a kid, the chantry take the child’s custody** \- She sobbed- **I don’t know how he is, how does he even looks like, they didn’t even gave me the chance to hold him or name him.**

- **I…don’t even know what to say** \- There was nothing she could say to make less her pain.

- **Nothing my dear, it’s the second time you prove I’m wrong about something** \- The first time, Wynne told Erya that her relationship with Alistair had no future, and yet, she prove her how it’s wasn’t about their future together, it was about how they enjoyed every single minute like if it were the last- **You are just trying to do what you think it’s right for your babies, it’s not easy, it hurts, but your just doing your best.**

Now Erya was the one crying.

- **Oh no, no my girl** \- Her warm hand cleaned her cheek- **Don’t cry, not anymore** \- It was the time for being strong enough to face her future.

- **I’ve already picked up names, you know?** \- She wasn’t good at naming, and Warfang was the living proof- **If one it’s a girl, Alice** -

- **A human name?-**

- **Like ALIS-Tair** \- She grinned, trying to picture a blonde girl- **And if it’s a boy….Duncan….or Tamlen.**

- **Have you tried mixing both names?** \- Creators, Ashelle would feel so jealous of that moment.

\- **Oh, I gave up after Taman and Canlen** \- And Damlen, Tuncan, a lot of failures.

- **And…what about…Dunlen?** -

- **Sounds good…though twins usually have rhyming names** -

- **I don’t think that Marian…is Marian? And that young man Garret, are the best example** \- She met them when Garret brought Erya in his arms unconscious.

- **Alice and…Ailan?** –Wynne shook her head, too much like Cailan.

- **Alice and Aaron?** – Erya nodded, smiling with full approval.

- **Alice and Aaron** \- Her hands went to her belly- **Sounds good.**

The door opened and Marian showed from it, wearing her leather armor.

- **Thank the Maker your awake** \- Relief filled her face, another glass of water in her hand- **You have us all waiting outside; even my mother insisted to come here and she doesn’t even know you-**

- **I suppose I can’t go and say hi** -

- **Clever girl** \- Marian wink her eye- **Stay and rest, I’ll tell everyone to come here, Merrill and your mother hasn’t come back yet.**

She turned back and left the room.

When the door got open again, Isabela and Aveline had a fight for the door, pushing one to the other.

- **Hey Hero** -He was talking to her **\- it seems you gave us a hell of a scare** \- The clever dwarf, Varric, smirked at her **\- Even Bianca was worried**.

- **Though my blue kitty’s little kittens** \- Isabela named her “blue kitty” because of her big blue eyes- **Are as tough as her**.

- **You never change Isabela** \- Erya smiled, a round of cards and they became good friends, good enough to miss her sometimes.

- **I’m even worse now kitten** \- She winked; the same wink she gave her when she tricked the cards back in Denerim.

“Isabela, what did you did this time?” She thought, but didn’t say a word about that.

- **Brother, that dwarf from the carta wrote us, he thinks he can lend us the money** \- Marian held an open letter in her hands.

- **Money for what? And more important, how much?** -

- **Uh** -She felt his doubt, it was a lot of money **\- We need one hundred sovereigns to pay an expedition to the Deep Roads**.

- **Ugh** \- Her disgusted face had no price- **Deep roads, I hate The Deep Roads, but! I can lend you guys the money.**

- **No freaking way you’re going to lend us the money** \- In the days she’d been in the city, she never saw him upset, not the way he was then anyway.

- **I said lend, not give, I’m crazy but not _that_ crazy**\- She wanted to wake up from the bed, her legs felt numb.

And she tried.

- **Go back to bed!** \- And failed, with everyone’s vow.

- **Fine! Creators** \- She sat back and putted the sheets back on- **The point is, if it hurts you that much, you give me back the money once the expedition is done.**

- **So, that’s a “no” for the man?** \- Marian asked, shrugging.

- **It seems so** \- Garret kept frowning for another moment-

- **I owe you one Hero…that man doesn’t get quite along with my family** -

- **I’ll charge that later** \- She smiled widely.

- **It means we head to an expedition tomorrow** \- Carver had to work hard to hide the thrill in his voice.

- **No, _we_ head to an expedition tomorrow** \- Marian pointed Garret and her-

- **We already spoke about this! -** The younger Hawke frowned- **I can’t believe you’re leaving me here**.

- **I won’t put you in danger like that!** \- Marian yelled **\- I won’t lose you like I lost Bethany**.

- **Marian, please…** \- The mother of Hawkes reached her daughter, she slapped her hand away-

- **No, you please!** \- Tears on her face, eyes turning red, despair? Anger? - **You don’t stop blaming us for that day!** \- Guilt.

- **My child, I don’t…** -

- **Just** \- She raised her hands like some peace offer- **leave me alone** \- And left the room followed by an elf with white hair an green eyes, slapping the door.

This was a totally new family, with new personalities.

And new secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you guys on chapter 9


	9. Memories of those we lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time!!!  
> I got busy with school....  
> Anyway! Happy reading :3

She would never forget that day.

The Darkspawn took her in his big, huge hand, closing it against Bethany waist like if she were nothing more than a doll.

He wrecked her body against the floor three times.

The first, they could hear how her bones crashed against the floor, Bethany just gasped in pain.

The second, threads of red blood came out of her body, her short brown hair stuck to her face, wet with her sweat and the red fluid.

The third the ogre let go her dead body, rolling around the floor.

All because she saved her mother’s life.

It happened so fast that not even Marian, the rogue, the quick thief, the smart, had time to react.

The battle started and ended faster than anyone thought, but her little, fragile Bethany was on the floor, pale and cold, looking like a real doll this time.

Marian saw it in her mother’s face.

“You did nothing to save her!”-The memories of she yelling at her, her eyes red, tears running.

She could only stay quiet and feel guilty, Marian was near her, she could have approach the ogre and jumped at him with her daggers.

But she didn’t.

And now the eighteen years old girl was there on the floor.

- **I assume you would be here** \- She trembled and came back to reality. She wasn’t at that place where Flemeth found them anymore; she wasn’t with her sister’s body. She was in Fenris’ house.

She ran and ran, away from her mother, away from her thoughts, away from the blame.

And found his place.

And the door was open.

- **Leave me alone** \- She pulled the dusty pillow up to her face, sneezing a second after. Fenris really needed to clean that place-

He laughed- **Uh, this is mi place…technically, you know?** -

- **Shut up** \- Another sneeze- **You really need to clean this place**.

- **Take that thing off your face** \- His iron claws took the pillow away from her face after the third sneeze.

He was losing his patience, and she knew it, but even mad he looked handsome, those white stray strands of hair covering his green eyes, eyes that looked at her with his anger, yet care and hidden affection.

- **Maker’s breath** \- Her blush spread down her neck.

- **What?** -

- **Nothing** \- Marian shook her head, sitting in the bed.

- **You’re going back there?** -

- **No** \- She couldn’t face her mother, her hurt face, she would never admit how she made them feel, both, “eighteen years of love, lost” she told Garret once, he would never cry or complain, he was the polite, the kind; the one who will always do what is right and will always tell you what you want to hear, even if it hurts him.

- **You seem to miss her very much** -

She grunted- **Who doesn’t? Bethany was our family’s little girl, the girl who helped in the chantry ironically being a mage, the one was trying to be like her elder brother, the one who will look at you with her big sad eyes without saying a word.**

- **Now you seem more jealous than hurt for her lost** \- His words snap her, waking a selfish part of her.  

What if she wanted to be in her place? What if she wanted to die instead her?

Nobody would miss her, except Garret, maybe. Father was always too busy teaching Garret and Bethany; mother was busy healing Carver’s scratches. She was alone, playing with other kids, leaving them once they had to leave the town because of Templars.

She was tired of running around.

- **I just…** \- Thinking about how she felt was easy, though speaking of it, could be quite more complicated- **I feel like Bethany would’ve been better in my place, with me in hers** \- Marian almost didn’t believe it, she was actually telling someone who wasn’t Garret, that she wanted to die, of all things- **I mean, I have nothing to live for, my mother will always make comments like “Bethany would say this, or would do the other, I can’t bring her back just asking for it”**

Fenris kept silence for a moment.

- **I think that your sister would’ve been disappointed of your thoughts about life-** She expected something like “the world got free from another mage”, but nothing like that- **She’s dead Marian, you can do nothing but keep living without her, at least you have her memories, what she was, how she was, there’s people who doesn’t remember their lives before some moment-** He looked at the filthy floor, guilt came again to her chest, guilt, she was tired of that feeling- **I didn’t met her, but if she was like Hawke, she was the only kind of mage I wouldn’t hate.**

**-Why everybody keeps calling him Hawke?-** She yelled, awaiting to change the subject. Enough, she had enough of self-pity and regrets, Fenris was right, somehow - **He has a twin people!**

She had to learn how to live with things.

It was time to move on.

Bethany and her father were somewhere watching over her and her family and she wanted them to see, how proud of her they would be from the Maker’s side.

* * *

That night

He missed her, and now Wynne was gone too.

“Erya requested my presence” She said and left the castle, no more words.

Everyone could see him but him, why? Because he had to sit in some throne to listen how nobles complained about each other and fix some falling a parts kingdom.

Now without her help.

Eamon came back to Kirkwall two days later, and didn’t say a word either.

“Oh, lady Mahariel is fine, the viscount delivered her keys to her new house in hightown” that was all he said about a two days visit to the place where she was.

He took the feather in his hand that night, he just couldn’t allow the scribe to write a personal letter, besides, Eamon had eyes all over the place, he helped her, and he really appreciate it, but something in his naïve self couldn’t trust him yet.

He could write a letter to The Hero of Ferelden, what other heroes are in Kirkwall?

One word brought another, and before midnight, he was done with his letter for her, papers sealed inside the paper envelope.

Next morning, he gave the letter to an emissary.

* * *

Two days later.

Garret, Marian, Varric and Anders left to the expedition the day after she gave them the money, the same day Marian left her house with the elf named Fenris.

The day after Garret told Erya who was Bethany and why Marian felt like that.

She wanted to speak with her, because she knew the feeling, that crushing guilt.

The feeling of know that everybody blames you. They don’t say a word about that and yet you hear the blame in every single word of them.

It had been two days now since that happened.

- **My sweet little blue kitten** \- Isabela was visiting the house that day, ended up playing cards with Wynne and surprisingly, losing against her though she knew she tricked the deck- **That woman is more dangerous than you may thought**.

- **Yes** \- The corners of her lips twisted into a smile- **Wynne kills with her kindness.**

- **If you think that** \- A letter with the royal sea over it, Alistair- **Your king must be desperate, it has only been a week.**

- **Shut up, you suddenly sounded like Zevran** \- She took the letter in a rush.

- **Touche** \- The pirate smiled- **I better go and see your mom or something, you’re going to become all roses and sunshine once you get done with that** -

Erya’s giggle filled the entire bedroom; she had to stay in bed according to Wynne and Anders, at least two more days.

Once she was alone, broke the seal and opened the letter.

“ _My dear and beloved Erya”_

_Remind me next time you come back to the castle, lock you up in some tower, with a door which lock you won’t be able to pick, and no, I’m not kidding. It’s being torture not being able of leaving this uncomfortable sit and go with you. I miss you Erya, and if you don’t believe me, ask Warfang, the one who by the way, is being the only company at nights, he comes up to my bed to remind me you’re gone._

_Eamon came back from Kirkwall and Wynne left…to see you (yes, I’m pouting)._

_Nobles are killing me, my day? Meetings, at nights I’m so tired that if you were here (which is not the case, sadly) I couldn’t even make love to you, and even I recognize I can’t take my hand off you. Oh and thank you! you left some things quiet in order around here, a lot of paperwork and writes you left here are being useful to me, I knew I was the luckiest man in the world…..until you left, then I became a wandering human with a crown on his head._

_Eamon didn’t said much about Kirkwall or about you, I must add, I don’t care if the city is falling a parts as long as it doesn’t hurt you._

_And if it does, you better take the first ship back to Ferelden! Though I know you won’t._

_You’re fine right? Of course you’re fine….please tell me you’re fine._

_I know it’s only been a four days now, and it feels like an eternity, you’ve become my entire world Erya, I love you and now those days when we had to save the world and fight against a bloody dragon seems a lot easier somehow, because at least that way you were beside me the whole day and night._

_I really hope that everything’s okay with your Clan, but I also hope you come back sooner. You will, right?_

_I love you,_

She wanted to cry, but she didn’t, she wanted to go back to her arms, but she couldn’t.

- **I love you too** \- Said to herself, hoping that, somehow, Alistair could feel her love for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something that I actually felt during the game.  
> Maybe Leandra doesn't try to hurt Hawke, but sometimes it feels like if she is trying to blame Hawke for Bethany or Carver's death :(


	10. Deep Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter in a rush.  
> I just thought about it, said "cool!" and wrote it.  
> So sorry if it has any mistakes...  
> Edit: I already fixed some of them :)

The sun in his eyes made him open them.

He turned the other side, looking for darkness again.

A shape in the red blankets surprised him. His hand took the blankets away, the dark brown hair in her shoulders, her almost handmade naked hips.

She turned back, the sun making lighter her eyes, her lips smiling as she covered the sun from her.

- **Good Morning** \- Erya reached him before he could say a word.

His lips on hers, cold and soft, she bit his lip and he opened her mouth, the kiss became deeper, heated.

He didn’t even have a second to put his ideas in order.

- **Something troubles you my dear?** \- Her head tilted and smiled softly- **Didn’t enjoyed last night?**

What did even happened last night?

His thoughts were blurry, Erya’s eyes had some odd energy, darker, mesmerizing; he wasn’t able to think clear as long as he stood beside her.

But he couldn’t take away his eyes from her either.

- **You keep worrying about that, aren’t you?** \- She said, taking her naked body to his chest- **I told you, my babies already love you and will love you more once they know you’re making their mommy happy.**

- **How long has been?** \- Confusion, Erya was a few weeks pregnant the last time he saw her, something was wrong, but he just couldn’t figure out what.

She grunted- **My love** \- It sounded perfect coming from her, “my love”, he could live his whole life with that- **Are you sure you’re okay?**

- **Just tell me** -

- **It has been a whole year since the expedition my love, you bought a house, _this_ house, Alistair found out about Cathy and Caroline and left me, now he’s married to some noble girl….Habren, I think it’s her name, Fereldans have a new queen- He rose from the bed messing his black hair with his hands.**

It felt wrong, something was wrong, but he couldn’t fill the blank spaces.

- **Don’t trouble too much with that my dear** \- Her eyes nailed between his legs- **Now come here, and give me more of you, I _need_ more from you.**

He was having a headache.

Erya sited on her bed.

She almost had a miscarriage.

Marian left the room after fighting with their mother.

- **I need to** \- his eyes pointed the floor, looking for his smalls- **get out of here, something is wrong.**

- **Why you can’t just embrace this happiness?-** Erya reached him, he could feel her breathing messing with some stray strands of hair falling over her face, moving them slowly **\- I won’t say this one more time** \- Her eyes became yellow, blurry, her skin purple, changing- **Stay**.

A desire demon

He swallowed- **No** -

The demon smiled so wide that her face was almost cracking; horns came out slowly from her forehead.

Erya was fading away and the demon was coming out, a purple odd energy surrounded of her, floating around her.

An ice spell almost reached him, he got down for avoid it.

Erya’s words came to his mind, _against fire, ice my friend._

And against ice, fire can be used as well.

He casted a spell of fire, the first one he could even remember; his arms shined with the light as the fire came out of his fingertips.

The demon screamed in pain, twisting her body, trying to escape.

But Garret was a step ahead of her.

He called a storm, tearing down the illusion. The fired burned everything to ashes, the bed, the windows, the walls…

The demon.

Before her body disappeared on the living flames, one last smile came to her lips. Triumph, even though she had lost- **You will never have her, because her heart belongs to another** \- an evil laugh broke his ears till she faded away.

_He knew_ , a demon didn’t have to remind him.

- **You are the greatest….reckless….JERK!** \- Marian’s fist on his abdomen brought him back-

He gasped, losing all the air he had in his lungs- **What?**

- **You!!!** \- Her face red with anger, her grunt filled the whole tunnel, her hands closed and opened, choosing between hit him again or just let him go- **Agh! Fuck everything!** \- She yelled, walking away from him.

- **You disappeared, we stopped at the camp for rest and you suddenly woke up and walked away, not even a word** \- Anders reached him, his hand on his shoulder- **She thought you were going to…anyway, but you didn’t come back, at the first hour, Marian came _alone,_ I must add, to look for you _,_ Varric followed her and I came with them.**

Then he remembered.

He fell asleep and dreamt with Erya, he was walking around Hightown with her. His hands were around her swollen belly, feeling the little kicks of the babies. But then she just walked away from him, leaving him behind.

And he followed her.

- **I…remember, dreaming, but…-**

- **A desire demon caught you-** He explained- **You’re a mage Hawke…**

- **He has a freaking twin sister!-** Marian screamed, listening their conversation.

- **We didn’t imagine that demons would have such freedom in the deep roads, so stay focus..Ha-** He looked Marian from the back- **Garret-**

**-Uh-** Varric was rubbing his neck **\- Bartrand has an assignment, the expedition will continue now that you finally showed up.**

Hawke sighed; he had a reality to go back to.

And in this one, Erya wasn’t going to wake up in his bed.


	11. While they're gone (Part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Hawke's expedition to The Deep Roads lasted at least two months....right?right? It's quite impossible just go and leave the Deep roads...

The first moth went by faster than anyone thought.

Isabela and Merrill visited her almost every day; Carver would show up too to see her, though Erya knew it was just to see if Merrill was around, he had this special look for her, yet Merrill was too naive to notice.

Aveline came to watch over her, but always ended up fighting with Isabela, the first would call “bitch” to the other and the pirate would just smile back and answer “I just had more fun than you did”.

Fenris just visited her when he and Isabela where going on their way to The Hanged Man from Fenris’ house in Hightown

Wynne forced her to daily checkups, the babies were doing great and the mage said that soon their bodies were going to start moving.

She stopped wearing trousers in that time, scared, looking her body at the mirror, wondering when her belly would start to grow.

Erya and her mother visited the Clan as often as they could, she helped the hunters with their training as her mother spoke with the keeper and this gave her some herbs for Erya, her pregnancy was usually good, except those nights when she woke up screaming her mother’s name, feeling sick or when the nightmares of the taint came back; there was no archdemon in these ones, but they were strong enough to woke her up.

Sometimes everything in the Clan looked and felt so odd, there was something big going on there, but she spent enough time away to know they weren’t going exactly to tell her, she just could wait and see.

Even though they took her back with their open arms, they didn’t trust her as before.

And yet they smiled at her when she said why she was back.

They hugged her and called her “da’len”, they told her everything was fine when all she expected was judging looks and uncomfortable stares, whispers and rumors.

But then she understood why.

She was The Hero of Ferelden, a dalish, someone who gave back a small part of their forgotten glory, they just couldn’t deny as one of _their_ people to someone like that even if it were pregnant with Dread Wolf’s child.

Now she finally saw what Leliana told her once after the visit to the Dalish camp back in the Blight.

_“Dalish people believe more in actions than in words”_ and then just smiled at her _“Good thing you’re not like that”_

She left the clan that day wondering if they would treat her children the same way.

- **Wynne** \- She got in her bedroom that night **\- Can I talk to you?**

- **What troubles you darling, pregnant and still want to know where babies come from?** \- Erya laughed so hard that she had to force herself to stop, remembering how red became Alistair’s cheeks after that conversation, when they got into the tent at night he just stared at Mahariel and told her “I _know_ where babies come from”.

But those were different times, _easier_ times, somehow.

- **No!** \- She said when she finally got some air in her lungs- **I** **just wanted to know if babies with one elven parent have…you know…pointy…ears?** -Her word felt racist, judging by Wynne’s frown. She knew she would love her kids, no matter the shape of their ears.

- **I’m afraid they do not** \- Wynne said in a deep sigh- **It’s your Clan, isn’t it?-** She didn’t knew what face she gave to Wynne that the mage suddenly embraced her arms around her in a hug.

It had to be a very sad one, Wynne became quite distant when Ashelle came to the house, She didn’t wanted to ruin the “Daughter-mother’s space”.

Though having Wynne around was like having a mother, a grandmother, a friend and _literally_ a spirit all together in one person, and her mother accepted that and liked Wynne for helping Erya when she left her Clan.

Those two were more alike than they could believe; same jokes and disgusting looks, the same face of one same coin.

Now the three of them were sharing their time together, they would go together to the market and buy some babies’ clothes, Wynne said both were going to be boys, Ashelle wanted girls, it didn’t surprise her when she found a glass jar with coins in the kitchen over a small piece of paper. They were betting over the babies’ gender; her eyes became nothing more than wider when found out that even Leandra putted some coins in there.

When she wrote again to Alistair when the week ended, she told him how “ _her two mothers”_ said hello.

 

    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking soooo long :'(   
> Real world sucks. (Just kidding...but I want to post more than I'm able to in these days and it bothers me)


	12. While they're gone (Part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There it was the one who made her lose Tamlen....The one who filled her body with the taint....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came back to stay this time!!!! Yesterday I finished all my tests at school!!!! :3  
> I tried to write it yesterday, I squeezed my mind for ideas, but all I could squeeze was a huge, HUGE headache. After one looooooong nap (From Monday night to Tuesday morning) I sat down in my computer and one idea brought the other. :)  
> I hope you guys like it  
> Staying away is BACK!  
> Edit: Shoot! I had to fix one of the little girl's phrases...

By the second month, she restarted to eat properly once more….more than properly, now she used to woke up in the middle of nights and head her steps straight to the house’s kitchen to eat anything, bread, ham, cheese or any dessert remaining from that night’s dinner.

One night, Wynne caught her.

- **Wwat?** \- Erya mumbled, a cheese sandwich filling her mouth- **They’re twins growing inside me woman!** \- Said once she swallowed.

It seemed that her humor started to come back slowly too.

Wynne tried to teach her how to knit with Ashelle’s help, but the thread will always become a knot and Erya would scream and throw the whole thing to the ground.

At the third week, she was able to make a suitable sock for a baby’s foot.

She kept it under her pillow, thinking about sending it to Alistair with a dumb excuse like “I _know_ how to knit”, but she didn’t, she just send him a letter telling him about it.

She also worried about those who went to the expedition sometimes, she hated Deep Roads almost as much Anders did, she hated them enough to know how unpredictable those travels there where. She just wanted to think they were fine and that they will come back before she realized.

***/*/*/*/*/***

- **I have a surprise for you** \- Merrill showed up at the house that morning, smiling and jumping like a little girl.

- **What is it?** \- Erya asked, rubbing her eyes, it had been a few hours since sunrise.

- **You’ll see, just come!** -The elven girl pulled her out of bed.

**-Uhm…Merrill?-**

**-Yes?-** She asked, her green eyes blinking.

- **I’m wearing my nightgown** \- She asked pointing the white fabric.

- **You look beautiful, let’s go!** \- Her childish giggle filled the entire room.

Erya managed to rise from the bed, her body asking for more rest, she pulled her feet into the first boots she could see.

Walking downstairs, watching not to wake up Ashelle or Wynne, they were going to kill them both if they found out about her going out wearing her nightdress.

Hopefully nobody would be walking around the market that earlier.

But it _was_ Erya Mahariel, The Hero of Ferelden, the one who had to go out door by door like a bookseller asking for help for the blight.

_NOTHING_ was _“Hopefully”_ when it was related to her.

Hightown’s market was crowded with people, nobles with their children and kids from Downtown with their parents and family.

Some holiday was being celebrated for some special day in Kirkwall, she didn’t know and wasn’t the one who was going to ask.

She stumbled one or twice with some people, humans, they whispered “knife ear” and she pretended she didn’t hear.

Downtown was quiet, nobody was walking around the streets, even drunks and merchants moved to Hightown for selling or drink some orlesian ale that a man with a mask was selling beside a huge barrel.

In the alienage families were going out of their houses wearing their best clothes, kids jumping and asking about the fair, _someone’s_ naming day, it seemed, probably the viscount’s son.

She couldn’t help but think about how Alistair would celebrate his children’s birthday.

- **Come in** \- Merrill said after opening her house’s door- **Wait here** \- She got into the bedroom and something fell- **By the Dread Wolf!** \- She yelled and a second after, came out again pointing Erya to go inside her bedroom- **I have something I want to show you.**

Erya swallowed and got her clumsy steps inside Merrill’s small chamber.

Her eyes opened wide and suddenly became hard to breathe.

There it _was_ the one who made her lose Tamlen.

The one who filled her body with the taint

The mirror was in there even with the same golden framework, but it was separate from the rest of its structure.

- **It’s beautiful, isn’t it?** \- Merrill walked next to her.

So many painful memories came back to Mahariel, how sad she felt when Tamlen was nowhere to be found, when she had to leave her clan.

She argued so bad with Duncan that his sweet tired voice vanished.

_“I’ll take you to Ostagar with me even if I have to drag you screaming and crying, don’t test my patience young girl”_ He said to her and she closed her mouth.

- **Beautiful?** \- She just said, more like a question, touching the cracks of the broken mirror, Duncan shattered it into little pieces with his sword- **How did you fixed it?**

- **It’s not totally fixed, as you see** \- Merrill said- **But I’m doing what I can, I went back to the cage after you left, and Marethari helped me to bring it to the Clan for studying it.**

**-You touched something so…dangerous?!** \- Mahariel screamed, thinking about the consequences of such reckless action.

**-It not dangerous!-** Merrill gave a step back, like a little girl- **Not anymore, after The grey Warden broke it, it became safe, besides, I made sure it won’t hurt anybody…-**

- **With blood magic** -

**-Yes-** Another step back **\- the demon promised me he will help me to fix the mirror.**

- **Oh, because we know we can trust demons, right?** \- Irony, two years with Alistair taught her that- **This….thing, took Tamlen away from _us,_ from _me,_ he was supposed to spent the rest of hislife with me!**

**-And you became The Hero of Ferelden; all must come with a price-**

**-Oh!** \- She snapped- **The demon taught you that too?!**

Silence, cold, sharp, filled Merrill’s bedroom.

- **You said blood magic was just _another_ magic, you were lying?** -

**-I’m not mad at you for practicing blood magic, I just…..** \- Erya sat on the bed, her hands covering her face- **I don’t know.**

Sometimes she thought about if nothing had happened

If Tamlen had never touched the mirror

If she never got sick

If Duncan had never come

If she had never met Alistair

She probably would’ve married Tamlen and had his children; The Clan would’ve left the Fereldan Forest away from The Blight.

Alistair would have fought the Darkspawn and saved Ferelden.

He would’ve killed Zevran or just didn’t let him come with him.

He would choose Harrowmont as she did, and would’ve done all the right things as she always tried to.

He would’ve died for saving Ferelden and Anora would’ve been in the throne.

- **It’s knowledge Erya** \- Merrill said, sitting beside her- **As Dalish people, our duty is save and preserve all we can about our history and old glory.**

She just sighed, a deep sigh, leaving her empty of emotions- **You’re right, it’s our duty, just, be careful; as you said, all comes with a price.**

And her heart hurt just thinking in the price of this one.

  ***/*/*/*/*/***

After they left the apartment, both in silence, went back to Hightown.

People was dancing, clapping at the rhythm of the music, couples were walking around and sharing shy kisses, families dancing all together.

A baker gave a free cupcake to an elven girl; a handsome young bard gave a flower to some young woman and her little daughter, everyone was sharing their happiness, nobles with elves; elves with other humans and dwarfs, and dwarfs were keeping their axes in their cases.

Certainly, it was happiness.

- **uhm….excuse me…-** A sweet voice came from somewhere, Erya’s eyes went to the ground, a little elven girl with brown hair and tanned skin spoke to her, her grey eyes studying her full with amaze- **Are you two…** \- The kid blushed and covered her face between her tiny little hands before she could say another word- **Dalish?**

Mahariel giggled, kneeling to the girl’s stature; she was short, no more than four years old- **Oh! It’s because our tattoos?**

The girl uncovered her face and nodded slowly- **My brother Eir has one too, but they’re not _that_ pretty, his is black and it looks like a _Dragon_ , I don’t like dragons - **

Merrill did the same as Mahariel- **Oh** **neither does us!** -She said

**-Ma says that dalish people lives in the woods, and hunts! And ride in cutes hallas! I have a wooden toy that looks like a halla!-**     

- **You really do?-** The kid nodded once again, smiling widely.

- **Yep, but mamma’s belly is growing, she says I’ll have a brother or a sister soon, so I’ll give him my halla, _Dhava_ will keep an eye on him**-

\- **Can I tell you a secret? Only your mommy and daddy can know about it-** The girl putted one of her chubby fingers in her mouth showing her ear- **I have a baby too** \- The child gasped- **Two babies** \- Now she opened it with surprise- **They will born in some time, but I’m sure that once they grow, they’ll want someone to play, would you be mad at me if I ask you to be their friend?**

The child giggled- ** _OF COURSE_**   **I'll pkay with them my lady!-**

Erya messed her long curly hair- **Just call me Erya** -She pointed at Merrill- **And this cute rabbit is my little sister, Merrill** -

Merrill’s eyes opened wide and she covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes holding the upcoming tears.

- **But you two don’t look _at all!-_** She yelled, looking at Merrill and back at Mahariel.

- **Some people become part of your family with time, they don’t have to share your mom or dad-** Erya explained.

- **And where is she? Your Ma** \- Merrill asked looking around, searching for some young male elf with a tattoo on his face at least.

- **She went with Da to buy baby stuff and told me to wait there-** She pointed a corner of the market where nobody seemed to walk and it wasn’t as crowded as the rest of the market- **But I got bored.**

A voice rose from the loud crowd and Merrill and Erya sat up.

- **Elloen!-** A women with a swollen belly in a pink dress showed from the multitude, her long curly brown hair couldn’t hide the June’s tattoos on her face- **Creators Elloen where are you?!**

- **I’m here Ma!** \- Elloen raised her hand- **I’m here!-** Said again, louder this time.

- **I’m sorry my ladies-** Erya smiled at her- **Oh, andaran atish’an my friends, I didn’t realized that…**

**-But I did-** Erya patted Elloen’s hair- **You’ve taught her well, his father is from the city?**

She nodded- **He is, my clan stayed in the mountains years ago, I met him when I came to trade with human merchants; I traded with him instead, my name is Lyna.**

**-Mom! Erya it’s going to have babies, _two_ babies, mom! Not only one- **

**-That’s me, she’s Merrill, she also lives in the alienage-** She pointed at her friend.

**-They say they’re sisters _mom_! But they don’t look _at all!_ -**

- **Thank you for taking care of my baby, your children counts with my blessings Erya; and Merrill, my door will always open for you and your sister-** Lyna looked down at her daughter- **Let’s go da’len, it’s time for us to go home, dad bought you a gift.**

**-Yay! A gift!-** The girl screamed, jumping- **Thank you Erie -** She turned back at Erya and kissed her cheek and ran to Merrill and tied her arms to her waist- **Thank you Merrie**

After more minutes with farewells, Merrill and Mahariel stood in the growing crowd, watching the girl and her mother disappear on their way to Downtown.

**-Will I be mother like that? -** She sighed.

**-Oh I think so! Even better…. _Erie-_**

**-I can live with that _Merrie-_ ** They looked down the street once again, they were gone, Erya sighed- **Let’s go.**

Only future could tell what kind of mother she would be.

***/*/*/*/*/***

- **Creators!** \- Ashelle screamed, reaching the door, Wynne pulled away her book and sat up for receiving them- **Where have you been?....Is that…your nightdress?**

- **Uh….** -Her eyes looked to Wynne and back to her mother- **I was in Merrill’s apartment.**

**-In your nightdress?-** The mage asked.

**-That’s my fault-** Merrill’s voice became lower and lower till it was nothing more than a whisper.

Both women sighed with resignation at the same time.

How _they_ couldn’t see how alike they were?

- **Take a bath Erya, meet me in my room for your checkup-** She turned back and walked to the kitchen.

**-The emissary brought a letter from _you-know-who_** -Alistair- **Is on your desk.**

**-Mind if you join me on one of my pregnancy days?-** She asked Merrill, winking.

**-Are you sure you want me too?-** It was strange for Erya to lose her temper, the mirror, she shouldn’t had showed her the mirror, almost took her away the only friend she ever had.

- **Merrill, as I said before, you’re _my sister_ \- **Mahariel smiled and Merrill wanted to cry again- **I’ll get mad at you, I’ll yell at you, but at the end of the day, it’s _your_ hair the one I’m pulling off; it’ll take more than the mirror who broke my life and transformed me to change that- **She took a deep breath- **So, will you join me?**

The young mage could only nod and take Erya's hand; tears were falling down her tattoed pink cheeks.

Only she knew how much she had missed Mahariel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have to thank Elvhen project for the words ;)  
> Dhava-Kiss  
> Eir- Snow  
> Andaran atish’an – Formal greeting  
> Elloen (Or Ellowen)-our friends live in her


	13. A mage's concern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, at first I wanted the next chapters as one, but then I thought "Neh"  
> This is an experiment, I'll make a few more chapters in 1st P.  
> Where we'll see things through Erya and Haw*cough* Garret's eyes :)  
> Happy reading!

Two months, it had been two months since we left. Days seemed endless down the tunnels, there was no daylight and sun didn’t illuminate the stones of the cage, Maker knows how deep we were.

The only light was blue, shiny and mesmerizing Lyrium growing unstoppable through the walls.

I realized that lyrium’s color was the same blue as Erya’s eyes.

It took us another week to get back to Kirkwall, Marian was excited, talking about the decorations she and mother would do to the estate once we buy the house back. Varric was listening to my sister’s talk with his best smile, but I knew he was squeezing his mind for ideas; ideas to find Bartrand, and kill him….probably…that traitor bastard.

Anders was worrying for Erya and her babies, talking to me about the taint.

- **Grey wardens are not supposed to have children** -He said, his hand rubbing his hairy chin- **It can’t just be that easy, there has to be a trick.**

- **You think she might have done some deal with some demon?-** Though I wasn’t sure about my own words.

- **Not _that_ far, Mahariel is not _that_ desperate**-He shook his head- **we had chances back in Amaranthine who could had saved us some scars and all those demons got from her was a dagger stabbed in their faces-**

- **Then what troubles you?** \- I asked, trying not sound as worried as I really was.

- **She stills being a Grey Warden, Haw…-** Maker, if Marian had heard him, _another_ two hours chat about “he has a twin”- **Garret** \- Thankfully, he corrected in time **\- What if the taint, sooner or later, is absorbed by the babies?**

Something broke in my head, Anders had a point right there.

**-Let’s hope later than sooner then** \- Those were the only words I could say.

In my mind, she was in her house in Hightown with her hands over her belly, talking to them about her day, about everything she did, looking beautiful as she always does.

She was attached to them, so attached that she left the one she loved the most for them.

And though if she loses them, she would be able to go back with him and pretend that nothing had happened but she would never be the same “Erya” again.

I spoke with her after things slowed down a bit in her house, when everyone left the room and the mage (Wynne, I think) told her to stay in bed.

She told me _everything,_ more than I wanted to hear, but there I was, sitting beside her on the bed listening. Her hands were over her belly; touching it over and over like if that way she could protect them from everything, from that nobleman, from the problems she’ll have to face in a distant future if their father finds out, from the Fereldan throne, from the whole Thedas if she could.

If she didn’t wanted to show how emotionally involved she was, she wasn’t doing the most perfect job.


	14. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops! Merry Christmas! By the way :D

I didn’t knew how much I missed the Kirkwall’s hole where I used to live until I saw the falling a parts door receiving me and my sister in Downtown.

- **Home, not for long Home** \- Marian said, walking towards the door, playful as always.

Mother used to joke saying that Marian stole charisma from me while we were in her belly.

I made a joke _once_ , father was teaching me an ice spell and I remember saying something about how cold it was, like _someone’s_ heart, I don’t remember exactly who.

He just patted my shoulder, giving me his “I know what you’re doing” look.

“Nice try son”- He’d said.

I started to believe my mother’s story since then.

- **NO FUCKING WAY!** \- Marian’s scream made me run upstairs, her cheeks were as red as an apple with her anger.

\- **I made my choice sister** \- Carver looked at me, my eyes looking over him.

Armor, Templars’ armor

I had to admit, I expected that sooner or later.

Carver hated me, or hated magic, which brings us back to _me._

- **Uh…** -A blonde Templar was beside Carver, I knew who he was, Cullen, we dealt with him after some abominations infiltrated in Templars’ order **\- I’ll wait outside till the farewells are over- Carver nodded and Cullen left the house.**

Marian looked at me furious- **Tell him something!** \- I guess I should have seen that coming.

When it was related to Bethany or Carver, Marian was a mommy bear. When mother and father were out working Marian would be the one helping Carver to heal his scratched knees or played with him with his wooden swords, though Marian was more into pick locks while I spent my time teaching Bethany. She would say to Bethany things like “Garret said _this word_ and the spell became stronger” or “You’re smart Bethy, just focus and don’t cause any explosions” to help her with her training although she knew nothing of magic.

She left to Ostagar with Carver just because she didn’t want him alone in a battle like that; it had nothing to do with the extra money.

“I have a bad feeling about this”- She said the night before they left to the war camp- “If we don’t come back, take care of mother and Bethy or I’ll come back from my grave to kick your magic ass.”

And some weeks later they showed up in Lothering, wounded and dragging their weapons filled with blood.

Afterwards it was a matter of sit and wait for darkspawns to attack our village.

- **Say something please!** \- She yelled.

I just shrugged **-Is his call Marian, the first he’s able to do since we came to this city** \- She opened her mouth and I was expecting the longest list of unconceivable curses that would put inexistent parts in Andraste’s body, yet, she close it again and took a deep breath, leaving the house before mother could stop her.

- **At least _someone_ understands-** Carver frowned to our sister closing the door, maybe this was the first time me and Carver were on the same ship- And don’t worry mother, I won’t say a word about Garret, I still know who the family is.

- **My baby** \- Mother found a breach of air in her sobs **\- please….**

- **Is this what you want?** \- My voice stopped his way to the door.

He looked at me and I saw it in his blue eyes, determination, burning and alive.

- **Then I’ll support you** \- I patted his shoulder the same way father used to do with me, with us- **Make this city proud of the name Hawke**.

He gave me a tiny smile and opened the door, it was his first step in a totally knew Kirkwall, one Kirkwall where the only shade he would have will be his own.

It wasn’t an end; it was nothing but a beginning.

My mother landed on her knees, crying desperately.

I could almost see Marian doing the same in other place.


	15. Talking with the Rogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I just realized that this thing has december 25 as the Chapter Publication Date, but Hey! today is 24!

Maybe it was normal being tired at midday, maybe it was nothing to worry about, but I landed in the chair utterly exhausted. I still wonder if I would be awake if someone hadn’t knocked the door.

- **Marian! You’re back!** \- I smiled widely, it was good having them back again.

- **Yes, we came back a few hours ago** \- She said after drowning a sob.

Something was wrong, I mean, something HAD to be wrong, normal people don’t visit with red and puffy eyes.

- **Please come in** \- I opened wide the door and she came in, I recognized the smell of her leather armor, darkspawn blood- Marian, is there anything wrong?

She grumbled, closing tight her hands- What ISN’T wrong?-

- **Marian, talk to me** \- I sat on a chair, Creators, I felt tired.

**-I don’t want to talk, I want drinks, is there anything with alcohol enough to get me drunk?** \- No problem Erya, calm down, two drinks and she’ll talk, you’ll see, it worked with Oghren.

- **Oh Wynne keeps a big bottle of antivan wine at the kitchen** \- My index finger went straight to my lips- **But don’t tell her I told you, she’ll kill me-** She was saving it for babies’ birth.

Sorry Wynne.

Marian smiled at me and ran to the house’s kitchen.

I sat next to her with a glass full of water, making some company, it was totally forbidden for me (and all pregnant women I suppose) to drink.

After the fifth glass of wine, and my sixth of water, she started walking.

- **The ONLY thing I had fought to protect since we came to this bloody city, and he goes and throws himself to the Templars!!!** \- She yelled, her face almost buried in the wooden table, I barely kept my eyes open, my hand was holding my head- **Well, fuck him!!! And Garret was on his side too, that magical bastard!**

Wait.

- **You’re talking about Carver?-** I knew he and Haw- ehm- Garret didn’t get along _at all_.

- **Yes, we came from that bloody expedition just to find out he joined the Templars** \- She laughed, drinking another sip of wine **\- His brother is a mage!**

- **Is his choice Marian** \- I said **\- you just can’t wait that he will do what you want him to all his life** -

She pointed at me with her gloved hand, the smell of leather and darkspawns’ blood brought a lot of memories back **\- Garret said the same thing _y’know_** \- She dragged her words, wine was doing its job- **Weird…** -

- **What?** \- My eyes met hers, raising my head properly in the first time in the whole conversation.

- **I see two “you”…maybe I should close my eyes for a while… but don’t go anywhere, we’ll keep talking in a _sec….._** \- Her head collapsed on the table.

Great, Just…Great

- **Erya have you seen….** -oh no no no, Wynne’s voice was getting closer to the kitchen’s door.

Before I could throw the bottle away, there was the mage, looking at me with those eyes that kill with kindness.

-I **can explain** \- Her eyes made a fast travel from the bottle to Marian and me, I raised my hands- **And I haven’t drink, I swear.**

- **For your sake I hope you didn’t** \- She frowned, her arms crossed.

- **But I’m sorry; she drank the bottle of antivan wine you were saving for…** -Wynne’s laugh stopped me from making myself stupid.

- **Oh my dear** \- She said after a _long_ laugh- **Do you _really_ think that I would’ve kept a bottle of such _rare_ wine in such predictable place?-** The mage took a second to clean the tears showing in her eyes, then she pointed the bottle- **That’s the _Dragon Piss_ you gave me when we met in Amaranthine months ago**\- I looked the almost empty thing with wide eyes and glanced back to Wynne- **Don’t worry, the name is probably figurative-** _PROBABLY?! **-**_ **But no one knows for sure.**

- **Uhm** \- It took me a minute to put my ideas in order, poor Marian, what have I done to her? – **She will live after that? She drank five glasses of _that-_**

- **She’ll be fine, she probably won’t remember her name with the hangover-** Yeah, I know what it feels like, I passed out with Oghren’s homemade ale **\- But she’ll be fine, I’ll prepare the guest’s room for her.**

**-Thank you-** Wynne became blurry and so did the walls and my hands, I haven’t felt dizzy since my first month ended, something was wrong.

Or maybe I just was too tired.

My view focused again

Proof! I was just sleepy.

**-I’ll take a nap-** I looked to Marian before leaving the room, she had a smile stamped on her face, whatever she was dreaming with, she was enjoying it **\- You’ll be fine taking her to the chambers?**

Wynne scanned me, from head to toes, and frowned, something was wrong- **You need to rest, I’ll be fine, just go to your chamber and _stay in bed_** \- Confirmed, something was wrong- **I’ll go to see you in a while.**

**-Fine…-** Even if wanted to argue, I felt too weak to say another word. I leaved the room before Wynne could kick me out.

When I got to my room, it didn’t took me long to fall asleep.

It was just midday!

But I felt so drained ….that I couldn’t even speak to my babies before sleeping.

I was just tired, nothing was wrong.


	16. When everything seemed to be at peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erya gets into more trouble, like usually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know it's been a while and I have no excuse for such time, Ideas just left me, poof, and I'm really sorry. I just got DA2 last week and a lot of thing came back to me, like my lost muse for example. Stay tunned people, I promise I'll post more often -Nyelh

She woke up a few hours later just to find the White-haired elf waiting outside her room

Where is she? Have you seen her?- he gave a step forward once she walked out of her chambers- His brother didn’t find her.

-Oh! Marian! - Her hand messing her already messed-up hair- Right! She’s sleeping…in that room- Her index finger pointed the door.

-Let me see her, please- Erya never realized how husky his voice was.

-Uh, Fenris right? - A nodded was her reply- She was pretty… intoxicated, and a hangover girl isn’t the prettiest thing in the world, believe me, I’ve been through it-

Now she was feeling awfully guilty, the elf glared at her with some puppy eyes while he was walking downstairs that would melt the coldest heart in Thedas, maybe he doesn’t know he does.

Whispers flooded her ears, whispers she only heard when there were darkspawns around, making her senses overwhelmed.

It was coming from Marian’s room.

Usually the taints take more time to get that strong. She read once how some wardens could sense how many Darkspawns were in a room. But it had only been a year since her joining. <<It can’t be>> She thought, knocking the door.

-*-*-*-

It wasn’t a hangover, she was dying, or at least it felt that way.

Burning sun in her eyes, too bright, footsteps’ sounds behind the wooden door, too noisy…

-If things could be less…everything- She murmured, pulling her head back in the orlesian pillow, trying to fall asleep again.

But then, she remembered Erya’s door and drinking some bitter yellow drink the young elf called wine, seemed Erya didn’t know much about bottles, ‘cause that shit tasted like hell.

And then things became blurry, like four or five glasses later.

Now she was trapped in orlesian sheets and a pretty blue cushion with feathers on the inside, the first proper bed in a long time.

-Have you seen her? - A well-known voice spoke, harsh and dry- his brother didn’t find her.

-Oh! Marian! - The other voice, girlish and tired at the bottom, answered-Right! She’s Sleeping…in that room.

Marian didn’t had to see him to picture his puppy eyes in her mind- Let me see her…please- he added shyly.

\- Uh, Fenris right? - Silence- She was pretty… intoxicated, and a hangover girl isn’t the prettiest thing in the world, believe me, I’ve been through it.

-Thanks- He managed to say.

She left the bed, reaching the closet mirror.

Erya was right; she wasn’t any close to “pretty” in the moment. Her hair was a black mess, twisted and curly, dark balls over her hazel eyes; smell to darkspawn’s blood was draining her armor, pinching her nose.

She would just buy a new one and forget the one she was wearing in a huge chest full with heavy iron locks.

Someone knocked the door.

-Hey- Erya- Are you awake already? I heard your steps.

-All of you elves have such sensitive ears? - She asked, opening the door.

-I actually don’t think so, the dry blood in your armor- The elf smiled- is darkspawns’, so I guess that’s why.

-I-Marian looked down, some dark stains scattered in dark drops around her armor- see-

Erya putted a hand over her belly, shutting her eyes, holding herself with a wall, landing her back over it. She looked so tired, her face was ashen and it seemed like she lost a lot of weight in only a few months- Maker Erya, is everything alright?- Erya opened her eyes slowly and painfully, breathing heavily-

-I thought I was- She swallowed hard, sweat running from her forehead, and then she kneeled on the floor, gasping in pain- But it seems I’m not…

-The babies are coming? - Erya frowned in response- Okay….they’re not coming, what was her name? Wynne! - Marian screamed, opening the door and running down the hall. She found Fenris downstairs, his back laying on the wall, arms crossed and thoughtful expression on his face- Fenris!-He opened his eyes, smiling.

-Haw…- Marian interrupted him before he could even talk.

-Go and find Anders!- She stopped for a second, taking a small breath, she had run all the way down- Erya, is not okay…and find my brother too, please- He nodded and walked to the door.

Wynne was on a small study, apparently the mage got comfortable and made herself at home, Marian didn’t know her well, but she knew one thing, Wynne wouldn’t leave Erya alone, not for now at least. Erya was a lucky girl, in one year; she built quite a family.

There were some bookshelves crowded with books, some thinner than others, gathered in order. She was in an armchair next to the fire, reading something related to some Orlesian rose, judging only by its cover- Wynne!- The mage closed the book and slowly putted it on a small wooden table beside her- It’s Erya…the babies.

-*-*-*-

There were voices everywhere, calling her like a song with only one lyric; her name. Her belly hurt, but there was no blood in her dress. She wrapped her arms around her tiny belly, curling in the floor like a cat; it had been a few weeks since she noticed how they were starting to grow, changing her. A really tiny bump she saw one morning, standing naked in front of the large mirror in her chamber, it had become something like a routine, looking, studying herself, wondering if all mothers looked that beautiful when they had lives growing inside her, she even wondered how her own mother could leave her behind, but she would snap away that thought immediately, she wouldn’t let her babies suffer because of her sadness.

-Erya! - Wynne got into the room, Erya only could recognize her because of her red tunic. Everything was so blurry she could barely distinct her face from Marian’s hair, the view was mixing altogether.

Till became all black.

And there was no more pain left.

-*-*-*-

-She passed out, too much pain- Anders said, closing the door behind him, Garret watched Erya from the distance for a small second before the door closed. She slept peacefully. Wynne was spreading a shiny orb around her belly. Ashelle walked around the bedroom, from one corner to the other, rubbing her face from time to time- Its- Anders stroked his chin, looking at the floor <<Maker, no>>-the taint.

-Grey wardens’ taint?- Merrill tried to get in the room when everyone got to the house, but neither Anders or Wynne allowed anyone else but Ashelle to get in with Mahariel- I do not understand, Mahariel said she was doing fine-

-And she was Merrill-He answered- But her babies are growing and- He fell in silence again, every word was a great challenge- They’re absorbing it and all the weight goes to Mahariel, her body stand it for a while, but now she’s hearing the calling, her taint developed just too fast.

-So what do we do? - Marian asked, still wearing the same armor from two days ago. Aveline left a lot of work to the guardsman. Merrill walked around just to keep her busy. Varric came from The Hanged Man and Isabela almost threw a dagger to Fenris when he tried to speak to her, touching her back. And Garret was right on the door when the elf opened it, he promised a visit after coming back, and it needed a lot of self-control to not show up at her house covered in dry blood.  
-I don’t know- He shrugged- If there was a cure to the taint- Wynne came out of the room and even Anders turned to talk to her- How is she?

-She is…fighting- Her voice was so low and yet it was the only sound filling the small hall- And so are the little ones.

-But Anders said…-Garret tried to speak, and the mage nodded.

-And it is true young man, but if an adult can die in the joining, imagine a baby taking more than she or he can hold- She closed her eyes, covering them with her hand- We need to, _remove_ the babies so she can survive.

- _Remove?_ \- Marian asked, a little bit louder- _Remove?!_ Oh! Like, _let’s remove these flowers just because blue doesn’t fit in the garden with all this green!_ -She paused, breathing deeply- You can’t _remove_ a baby!     

-It’s the only way! - Wynne snapped back. Garret couldn’t say a word. They were her babies; she gave up everything she was for them, and now they there were, nine people deciding someone else’s fate, someone that wasn’t even awake to make a vote on the situation.

-Wynne- Isabela was strangely uneasy, it was a mood she didn’t show often- There’s really no other way? I mean, she loves those little kittens; it’s going to kill her.

-I wish there was another one-

-The Urn of Sacred Ashes- Marian exclaimed- Ha!

-They are back in Ferelden, in deep custody- The mage answered- And it will take _weeks_ , Maker, _a month_ maybe, to get only some.

-You don’t go out enough- Marian said, walking to the middle of the small circle everyone made unconsciously- There are some Carta’s dwarfs selling it, I watched them giving some to an old sick lady- She snapped her fingers- And she healed, thanks to our Andraste’s Grace.

-And you didn’t think you could have given me the information about the Carta? - The soon to be captain asked. Marian shrugged.

-Aveline! There are people of the Carta selling Andraste’s ashes, now, can we stop ourselves from killing them and get the damn thing to cure Erya? - Aveline bowed her head, frowning. She was one of the few who didn’t like Marian’s constant jokes- Thank you.

-I’ll go- Garret stepped forward-

-And I’ll go with you- Marian smiled- Sorry bro, you won’t get all the thanks.

-Can I go?- Merrill added blushing, she coulb be really shy- Please tell me I can go-

-Relax Merrill- Marian hugged the young elf, giving that bold to Wynne.

She would get the ashes even if she had to scratch the walls of the city or enchant some dust. He knew by the way she looked to Downtown’s entrance.

-They were close to our uncle’s house- Garret could tell a lot of things about his sister. She liked to play pranks and she used to bring homeless animals to the house-Dog was the best example- and she could be unbearable sometimes. But she didn’t had any grey areas on her personality, she only could agree or disagree on something, not even their father succeeded on the task of change any ideals she might had had.

And she liked Erya and wanted to help her. That was just Marian.

-Oh! Here you are! – She gasped looking down to a dwarf with a dusty hood covering his face- It happens I need your services- Merrill stepped back with Garret’s order.

-Who and how much?- The man answered.

-No- She said, moving her index finger from side to side- “What, and how much for it?” I need some ashes.

-Twenty sovereigns- Hawke took a big bag of coins and threw it to the man’s hand without a word, it contained the money they found all the way home from The Deep Roads, there was more than twenty sovereigns in that thing, but Erya deserved it. The dwarf gave them a tiny leather package. Garret opened it, there was nothing more than dust on the inside- Pleasure doing business with you.

-If it doesn’t work- Garret's voice was different from usual. He took a step closer to the man, looking him on the eyes with a frightening gaze –I’ll kill you.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and, please.....I really really REALLY like comments, if I haven't said that before.  
> So PLEASE, leave a comment, or just say hi if you want, I like when people says hi :3  
> And another thing, I'll be doing some editions in old chapters, I'll leave numbers and names on the end note of each last chapter.  
> Now this is it...  
> See ya!  
> Edit! Check chapter one! if you're new reader or you're reading this since I first post it and liked more the old version, go to the link bellow  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6389749


	17. Things get worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers for this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy stuff happens here.  
> You're all warned.

Erya opened her eyes for a second, only a second, watching her mother grabbing her hand, paler than ever. She twinned her fingers with hers and her mother called a name she couldn’t hear properly and Anders shoved into the room quickly-An...- Pain waves came again, she twisted, screamed, and covered her pointy ears with both hands, whispers were calling louder every time her name, and then Alistair’s. It was only a matter of time fell into darkness again.

-*-

-We found it-Marian threw the little bag into Anders’ lap, looking Wynne with the corner of her eye, frowning slightly- How’s she doing?

-No change I’m afraid- He said, opening the bag slowly, putting some dust on the palm of his hand- She woke up for a few seconds and then fell asleep again- Anders kept looking at the ashes, with a studious look on his face- She also cried, she must be having really bad dreams-

-*-

She was in a really dark room, she could thought there were no walls except for the candlelight illuminating a small part of the stoned wall. Her legs were spread wide open to each side of the bed, tied up at the end of it. She blinked, her eyes trying to adapt to such darken place, but every time she closed her eyes and opened again the adapting process started over and over. She tried to move her hands, but they were tied up to the upper part of the bed- I’m sorry Da’len, but we have to do it- In some moment she couldn’t realize, her mother was beside her, hands stained with blood. Erya opened her eyes wide, tears immediately showed on her face- They are monsters- The young elf gasped for a sip of air, sobbing.

-No, please- She said, crying as her mother walked to the back of the bed. Mahariel felt a twitching pain in her belly- Please! Please! Mother, please! Don’t do it! Mother, Mother!- She screamed, but Ashelle didn’t seemed to listen one single thing. The ropes in her wrist and ankles were burning her skin, but she kept moving, trying to get rid of them- Mythal- She said lowly, only for her- please, please, please, not my babies- Tears blackened her eyes and her throat hurt from so much scream.

The world was nothing else but pain for the next minutes, passing like hours and years as she felt how her babies were ripped away from inside her. Wynne was there, Anders was there, even Garret was looking from a corner of the room- Garret- She looked at him, there was nothing else she could protect, there was no more reason to live, she lost the thing Alistair and her wanted the most, Eamon won- How…could you let them do this to me?

-Look Da’len, it was a dead little girl- The elven woman walked to her with blankest flooded in blood, covering something. For the first time, Garret walked to her and let go one of her hands. Anders undid the other and Wynne left the room. She tried to sit on the bed, but her legs were shaking and her body felt so weak- Do you want to take her?- The woman didn’t give her time of answer, giving her the bloody envelop. Mahariel frowned, blankets were covering her baby’s face- Like I told you mada’len- Ashelle smiled pleased and Erya screamed even louder, watching the darkspawn fetus in her arms, shapeless, with no eyes and tiny arms and sharp teeth on an open and formless mouth- It was a monster.

-*-

-What was that?- Everyone stood up of their seats hearing Erya’s screams coming from the other side of the door- Anders?!

Ashelle opened the door, wide eyes and fear filling her face- She started screaming suddenly, I tried to calm her down but she won’t listen-

-She’s having nightmares! - Anders rushed to Erya’s chamber’s door. Garret and Wynne got into the room with him, the rest stayed behind, looking between them, confused and scared with all the things happening- We need to do give her the ashes!- The older mage took the bag from his hand.

-It requires a ritual, I saw it before back at Redcliff- She explained, opening a book she left in Erya’s desk. The poor girl moved in the sheets constantly, tears showed in her eyes few seconds later, whatever she was dreaming with, it had to be horrible. She finally calmed down, but she kept sobbing her nose, eyes closed and emerged into a deep sleep, but tears kept running down her eyes- I’ll prepare everything, it’s getting worse every time-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys on the 18th :)  
> Remember to leave a comment....I mean, if you want :)


	18. The beginning of peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> korimenei I'm so so so so sorry I couldn't post when I told you I was going to, I've been without Internet conection almost a freaking week since last friday,finally fixed. I started writting right after I replied your comment and it has been ready to be posted since Saturday.  
> Again, I'm so sorry.  
> I hope you can forgive me :(

When she finally opened her eyes it was close to midnight. She sat on the bed and started coughing, Wynne handed her a glass full with water and she drank in small sips with the mage’s help, her hands shaking _“Erya, are you okay?”_ Her mother reached Erya’s hand. _“You were screaming and crying on your sleep”_. Everyone remained in silence, Erya rose her head and squeezed the sheets. Hawke could swear she was still shaking, scared of something it wasn’t there.

_“It…”_ She said, coughing on her fight to get back her voice _“It was a dream?”_ She gasped, covering her face with both hands “It felt so real” Her fingers slowly went down to her belly. There was no sound on the room but Erya’s heavy breathing. Wynne sat on a wooden chair next to the bed, looking tired and pale, brushing her hair with her long fingers. Marian rested her back on the room’s wall, she got forcefully into the room during the ritual, nothing special, but required lyrium to be completed, it was not as simple as drinking a dead woman’s ash. Merrill was there too, standing next to Anders, Maker and her Creators know she fought back the tears watching the mages helping Mahariel, who kept moving and crying, her arms covering tightly her unborn children. She could do nothing more than watch, neither Anders nor Wynne allowed her to do something helpful. –She is a bloodmage- Anders said –I don’t think there is a room for error, but in case there is one, I’m not taking any chances-, Hawke kept getting jealous of his attitude, so confident around her, he could overprotect her and she would say nothing, because they were friends from a long time ago and he was nothing but a kind stranger to her. And that was it, the rest of the team waited outside the room, or maybe Isabela hid on The Hanged Man, under several bottles of cheap wine. The pirate had proved to be sentimental near her friend.

_“But, what were your nightmares about? You kept mumbling words_ ” Hawke asked. Holding himself from run next to her and hug her, Erya looked so small and fragile at the moment.

_“If it was just a dream, then it should be nothing more than that”_ Ashelle embraced Erya and looked to Hawke nodding slowly. It was over.

_“There’s something you must know Erya_ ” Her eyes grew larger and her body shook again. Anders sat on the bed and grabbed both of her hands. She swallowed; her eyes were so full with fear that Hawke was terrified of the thought of the young lady collapsing again, _“You’re no longer The Commander of The Grey”_ Her head tilted, frowning in confusion.

_“What?”_ She sighed and then laughed, looking everyone on the room; nobody said a word to explain her.

_“Your taint, is gone”_

_“I think I misheard; what?”_

_“We used some of The Sacred Ashes to…”_

_“That’s impossible”_ She replied, convinced of each one of her words _“The ashes are back in Ferelden”._

_“The Carta managed to get them into Kirkwall”_ Erya blinked, shutting her lips into a line. After a second, she closed her eyes and covered her ears. Once a certain time had passed, she opened them again.

_“You speak the truth”_ He saw her smile for the first time in a while _“The whispers are gone, we are safe”._ Her smile grew larger, and a tear ran down her cheek. _“Everyone, life won’t be enough to pay my debt with all of you. But_ …” Erya muttered something neither Anders nor him could hear _“Never mind, somehow I knew it would be either my duty or them”_ She caressed _her belly, smiling again, “I would have chosen them anyway”._

Marian coughed, _“I’m going to look for the rest of us, so much sweetness makes me feel dizzy”_ Then reached the door “ _But I’m so glad you -all of you, whatever- are safe_ ” _._ And with no more words, she left.

* * *

Wynne sat on her side once everybody left them alone. The dwarf, Varric, gave her a book after Anders told her she had get some sleep, _more sleep,_ after she woke up it was like she had been sleeping her whole life. She was afraid though, afraid of going back to that nightmare. She shook her head, smacking her thoughts away, _“it was over”_ she comforted herself on her mind. Fenris stayed at a corner of the room, watching next to Marian, only talking to her, giving her a shy smile or a husky giggle every time the human opened her mouth to speak. Merrill broke into tears, saying how afraid she was. It was late night when everyone left, Hawke said he could be called if they needed anything, Ashelle offered him to stay, yet he smiled and refused. Marian hugged her, Isabela was able to do the same after she had been all the time on the kitchen, looking for any bottles she could find, she barely could put one foot after the other. _“I thought we had lost you kitten”._

_“Seems story repeats again”_ Wynne said, opening Varric’s book **_–Hard in Hightown-_** she could read on the cover.

_“Even Anders found a place to belong to”-_ Erya whispered.

_“The circle, the wardens, let’s see what comes next”._

_“There’s something I admire about them Wynne”._ She grabbed the book on her hands, passing each page slowly. _“There is no tragedy bounding them together, there are just people who bumped into each other on Kirkwall’s streets”,_ She had to admit, Varric’s stories were amazing, only reading a couple of words she felt trapped. At least there were no boring days coming. _“And then is Flemeth, which are her plans now, Wynne? She warned us about The Blight, and now she chooses this man to bring her back to life, am I supposed to be here? What is going on that woman’s mind now? What will happen?”_

_“Right now”_ Wynne took the book back , and Erya wrapped on her blanked, resting her head on a soft pillow. Wynne started patting Erya’s hair once again; she would fell asleep in no time _“It is not our concern, your duty is done, you may rest, right now is another task the one you have in your hands”._

_“But Wynne, if I’m no longer a grey Warden, who will lead them now? What will…”_

_“Hush dear, you need to rest, we will speak about this tomorrow, you will find a way, you always do”._

She said, without realizing Mahariel was already sleeping.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turned out not being as long as I wanted it to be, but I'll keep working on it.  
> Btw, Please keep checking notes at the end, there will be a new chapter 2 soon :)  
> Oh and please tell me if dialogues are easier to read this way :D  
> I forgot to tell! I found a one day-old kitten on the street four days ago, it's so small I have to feed it with a syringe because it has no teeth. Its umbilical cord (i don't know if it's called like that in english) just fell yesterday!  
> My friend and I named it "Pounce a lot", but like we don't know if its either a "She" or "he", we can't tell if it'll "Lady" or "Sir" for it.  
> What hurts me the most is how someone can do that to a defenseless creature. The poor thing practically was born and thrown to the streets. But anyway. Pouncy is happy, looks like a furry little ball every time I feed it, and my dog Bailey is actually happy having someone else at home.  
> And they lived happily ever after....lol!  
> Anyway.....that's what I wanted to tell you guys.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some chapter notes in this one and the upcoming one, I couldn't help it. Sorry :P

**─It feels nice for a change─** Erya stretched her arms and walked barefooted next to the waters, her feet soaking on the border of The Wounded Coast’s sea, raising her dress, looking down to her feet, being only able to see a tiny piece of her fingers thanks to her swollen belly, her eyes could see nothing more than pink fabric. **─Can’t remember the last time I came outside from that house.**

Six months had gone by on a blink, she was safe, her babies were safe, yet everyone couldn’t stop worrying. Hawke visited her, usually with Marian, but there were other times when he came alone. He was there the first time both moved, she suddenly startled and touched her belly, **─I think they just moved─** her eyes opened wide, unsure if she should smile or cry, happy as she was. Next day, she had dark balls under her eyes **─They…kept moving─** She explained, yawning and stretching like an old cat.

Eamon kept watching over her, at least he did as he said almost a year ago, he would even visit her with paperwork for him to do on his visit. She wondered which excuses he gave Alistair, but never asked. He usually stared at her belly while she wasn’t looking and she would feel the weight of his eyes on her, maybe regretting the choices he made her take, maybe not; Erya wanted to believe he was the same good man she met at a castle, the same man who helped to reunite Ferelden. «Perhaps is just my imagination» She thought more than once, trying to see him as an enemy.

But that was irrelevant at the moment, her priorities were Alice and Duncan, «or Cailan and Duncan, OR Alice and Tamlen» she couldn’t bring herself to pick proper names yet. And she couldn’t wait to meet them, if she felt a kick, she would caress her belly and whisper a **─Soon, my children, just a little bit more─.** There were other times when she got lost on her own thoughts. Sometimes it was Alistair, who kept insisting she should go back, other times, it was Morrigan.

She knew herself, and knew Morrigan as well; she wanted to see her again. Breaking her promise, she would look after her, as soon as she could **. ─Do not follow─** She said, yet all Erya did was shake her head and promise the otherwise. More than a friend, she was looking for her sister. Alistair’s child was not a problem; she had no intention of harming the kid. Time had gone by and her perspective on the matter changed a little every day. Almost two years ago, she was scared of death, and selfishly, forced Alistair to be part of her darkest secret, and even though she knew Morrigan was doing nothing less than saving Erya’s life, she hated that unborn child. Now, she could understand, and pictured Morrigan on the less expected place, holding a baby on her arms, and wondered if she would think about her.  

Alistair never spoke a word about that evening again, he came out of Erya’s room the night before the battle while she was on his chambers, sleeping, or at least trying; imagination had proved to be a very dangerous enemy. He came into the room smelling to fresh soap and clean clothes, his skin lightly red fromrubbing, maybe trying to take her friend’s scent off him. **─I love you, you know that, right?─** He said, demanding for a forgiveness he shouldn’t have asked for, it was her fault, anegoistic desire of survival, without even wondering if Riordan was going to succeed, or if she would die before reaching the dragon.

She always had been that selfish.  

**─Erya! Are you listening to me? Erya!─** Ashelle screamed from the back. **─It’s time to go back!**

She took a deep breath and smiledbackwards, then looked to the hiding sun once again.

«One step at the time Erya, one step at the time»

And she went back.

**_Note: «Nothing wrong with this chapter, promise»._ **

* * *

 

**─They…what?!─** She asked, Garrett and Marian shrugged, **─What kind of trouble are you both into now?**

**─We don’t know! We barely have the time to go out now that Marian is spending all the money from the expedition on decorating the state─** Garrett explained, pointing at his sister with his thumb.

**─Hey!─** Marian frowned. **─Anyway, the thing is, you should take care, Erya, we don’t know if someone close to us might be attacked, they infiltrated on the gallows, attacked Carver…**

**─You’re visiting Carver?─** Garret raised an eyebrow. Marian’s fist clenched.

**─Mind your own business, brother.**

**─So there’s something we don’t know─** Erya smiled, holding her belly **─Varric said something?─** Garret rubbed his recently shaved chin, apparently he had to after Marian left a hairless line when he woke up and caught his sister with a knife and soap on each hand. **─This people from the Carta must be really mad at Hawkes, have they tried to attack your mother?**

**─No.**

**─Then you should go and see Varric─** She took a deep breath. **─Creators, really, what have you two done now?**

Both Hawkes shrugged, again.

**_Notes: «I think male Hawke is handsome, do you think so too? I mean, I wanted to romance him so bad on Inquisition, BUT, the idea of shaving him came to my mind since every time I see my older brother’s beard I want so badly to shave him on his sleep…Anyway…keep reading»._ **

* * *

 

It was late that day when people of her order showed up on her door. Ashalle called her with a trembling voice and she hid a dagger under her dress, tying it to her leg. Once she attended, fear made her feel dizzy when a silvered griffon ornamenting a bluearmor caught her eye **─Hero of Ferelden?─** The woman said, with her brown hair tied into an impeccable ponytail, her green eyes studying her from head to toe.

**─Yes?─** She asked, trying to keep calm.

**─I’m Janeka of The Grey Wardens─** She saluted her bowing her head slightly. Erya just nodded. **─And I’m here to call you on a task of major importance─.** The woman explained and Erya could not stop looking the staff on her back.

**─Lady Janeka─** , she said, her voice acquired certain hostility, **─I honestly do not think I should attend to this task of yours─**. «Since I’m no longer a warden». **─I have my own in hands right now─**. And placed a hand over her belly, Janeka’s eyes grew larger.

**─But!**

**─No, there’s no but, I already gave up to many things for my children.**

**─You really haven’t heard our calling to our duty?**

«I’m no longer one of the order» **─No─** She simply said, wishing she could close the door, if there was something Erya wasn’t good at, certainly was at lying, sometimes she wanted to run back to Ferelden and tell Alistair everything, about the babies, about Eamon.

But she couldn’t, she had gone too far to turn back now.

And it was the very same feeling for the wardens.

**─I see, then I’m sorry we had disturbed you, Hero of Ferelden.**

She replied nothing, only closed the door and rested her back to it.

**«Would she tell the other wardens? »** The mere thought scared her, like those days after the blight was over, seemed easier to only shrug and pretend nothing had happened, but only Alistair could manage to be like that, she didn’t know how to lie, never did, she even told everything to Alistair the night before the ritual, about the child, about Morrigan. And the other wardens had more questions than she, who barely acknowledgedMorrigan’s plans for the baby, plans she never spoke a word of. Erya would always remember the way all stared at her, waiting for her to talk when her cheeks became red with her knees trembling; hopefully, Alistair gave a step forward and demanded the meeting to end since Erya was recovering from the wounds battle had caused on her body.

**─Erya─** Ashalle called, **─Stop harming yourself with those thoughts of yours.**

**─But─** she mumbled, trying to gain back her self-confidence **. ─What if she says...?**

**─Then it was meant to be like that, my child─** Her mother guided her back to the seat, were Erya calmly sat and took a deep breath **, ─Creators know why things are like this, they always have a reason.**

**«Creators»** She thought, huffing to herself **«Maybe it’s The Dread Wolf the one who’s watching over me».**

**_Notes: «what?! No bleeding? No kidnapping? Nothing especially disturbing is happening? What are you up to Nyelh? Nah, don’t worry, I thought some peace would be nice for a change, I mean, poor Erya and Babies»._ **

* * *

**_Notes: «Now, some Hawke’s point of view, who doesn’t love this guy? »._ **

_Two days later:_

Corypheus fell on the ground and he held the key on his hands. Marian gasped for air and Anders helped Carver with his wounds.

His father, the serious Malcom he always met, the one who taught him so patiently about magic, that very same father who asked him and his sisters and brother to close their eyes every time he and mother were going to kiss; that friend and guardian never wanted mage children. When they found out, Marian shut her very flustering humor and limited to look Garrett like if she knew exactly how he felt **. ─Doesn’t matter─** She finally said, **─He loved us─** She paused and looked at him **─ALL of us─** He was so proud of her, for a moment. **─But! Now, Carver can stop whining about him being below you─**. Only, only for a moment, he thought Marian could seriously speak about something.

As they were leaving, something triggered on him, like if he had done something wrong. But it was too late to even look behind his shoulder.

**_Note: «I’m so in love with Marian’s personality, I just love to write about her»._ **

**_So this is all for today, I’m sorry it wasn’t longer. But I promise there will be many pretty chapters coming through! =)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels SO good to be back on the archive :D  
> And check chapter one (again)...and two.  
> You'll like it, I promise ;)


End file.
